Dr Pam Spurr

Why humour helps in the bedroom - some thoughts

Why humour helps in the bedroom - some thoughts

We take bedroom matters far too seriously. If something new doesn't quite work out are you going to laugh or cry about it?

Humour helps us through difficulties and to get over hurdles.

The couple that plays together stays together.

The big difference is you don't laugh at someone you laugh with them.


What are the perils of losing your sense of humour, of taking yourself too seriously?

There are a number of perils if you take yourself too seriously and lose your sense of humour. Most important of all is that many psychological studies show that those people who have the ability to see the brighter side of situations have better mental health and emotional well-being. Living by stringent principles and feeling you can’t relax and let go creates a cycle of anxiety. Women who are prone to this tends to be perfectionists.

How can it impact on your relationship and friendships?

Taking yourself too seriously can impact negatively on your relationships and friendships because the whole point of close relationships is that they should be well-rounded. Whereas you might feel constrained at work by having to behave in a more rigid way, in personal relationships you should allow yourself to let go and have fun. If you're not careful you can become too much hard work and no pleasure! All work, no play

And how can you get your sense of humour back?

When Couples have been taking life too seriously I suggest doing things they might’ve done in childhood. Go ice-skating, bowling!

Do fun and light-hearted things like  eating sweets, and watching your favourite chick flicks and comedies.

Set yourself one fun thing to do each week. Go abseiling for the day or take a dance class. Take up a creative hobby like painting or sculpting. Ask your friends and partner to tell you if you slip back into your serious old self.