For a snowy adventure for CHristmas, why not buy that child in your life Eva the Bear and the Magic Snowflake: BUY LINK https://shorturl.at/Etldf
Eva is an adventurous little bear who goes out in a snow storm and finds herself in big trouble!
A story that promotes courage and resilience in chidren!
My latest column for Wingman Dating App...
Oasis has been trending on and off since they announced their reunion recently. It reminded me that I had once told a date-coaching client that the person they had started seeing was a ‘definitely maybe’ kind of person. That instantly resonated with them.
A ‘definitely maybe’ kind of date isn’t a commitment-phobe as such, but they probably have some personal weaknesses, anxieties or issues when it comes to aspects of dating.
Some signs to watch out for include:
*You suggest something for your next date but he/she (women do this too) says they need to think about it. And it’s not as if you’re suggesting a weekend break in Paris! It could just be something like bowling or dancing or visiting an exhibition, that may well take them out of their comfort zone.
*They say you can meet their friends “sometime soon” but then they never suggest a time and place. Ditto, when you ask if they would like to meet your friends, they say “definitely” but then never seem able to make the time and place you suggest.
Again, this might be because they feel uncomfortable mixing different groups together. Rather than the classic commitment-phobe who never has any intention of you mixing with their personal friends.
*This hesitancy can cut right across your dating. Even when it comes to the first time it looks like you might have sex. They seem to put it off or make excuses. They may just want the timing to be perfect but it can be frustrating if you’re ready.
*They’re going home for a family weekend and say things like maybe sometime you can come. Definitely don’t count on it for some time to come!
Signs like these can flag up future difficulties if you can’t pin them down. As I’ve said in many of my Wingman columns, only you can decide if you want to see if this “maybe” turns out to “definitely” be your man or woman!
Good luck and happy dating, Pam x
If there are any little ones in your life, Dr Pam’s first children’s story book is out now: http://tinyurl.com/36y3xr6n
My new column for Wingman Dating App
In recent years, in the dating world, a lot of terminology has sprung up to describe different dating scenarios. A very new one is called ‘situationship’. This refers to a couple who are seeing each other regularly but neither of whom have defined their relationship.
This situation, not to use a pun, works out well for people with busy lives. And who also enjoy the company of the person they’re seeing but aren’t either ready – or willing – to define the significance of their relationship. Many people I’ve date-coached have quite happily had situationship relationships without even knowing it.
The problems start when one person decides they want to define the situation that they find themselves in. Here are a few tips for if this happens to you:
*Rocking the boat - you may feel hesitant raising the issue of how you would like to define your relationship as something more significant. You might feel like you’re rocking a pretty good boat that has worked well so far.
It’s crucial, though, that you discuss your new feelings with your ‘partner’. Otherwise, keeping these feelings hidden can lead to distress for you. You start doubting your worth. You wonder if you’re good enough for them to want to make clear what your relationship is.
*Starting the conversation - you don’t have to raise your new feelings as if they are “huge” and a “big red flag” for the relationship and something to worry about. Instead, you can keep the conversation pretty chilled.
A good start is to seize the moment when you’re both relaxed and ask them how they are feeling about “things”. Make it open-ended. Listen to what they say and they might ask you the same thing in return. If they don’t, be honest and tell them how you would like to deepen things between you.
*Don’t panic – if they are unprepared to hear that or say they want to think about things, etc., don’t worry about it at this stage. After all, you two have been coasting along happily and they might have felt this was a great place to be with your relationship.
Give them a little time but not too much time. Never lose sight that your feelings, about wanting something more serious, are valid and important. Ultimately, if they don’t come on board with your feelings - but you feel you’re ready for a deeper relationship - you might decide to move on from your situationship.
Good luck and happy dating, Pam x
If there are any little ones in your life, Dr Pam’s first children’s story book is out now: http://tinyurl.com/36y3xr6n
Here's my discussion with the lovely Dr Tara Quinn Carillo about my sightloss journey - it got emosh! It can be listened to here amognst other media platforms
I hope you find this chat helpful - have such empathy for the visually impaired now! Best of luck, Pam x
It was absolutely lovely to speak to Lucy Marsh of the Family Education Trust about everything from parenting to Eva the Bear and the Magic Snowflake and gender ideology!
Here's our chat and you can find them on X at @FamEdTrust
Hope you enjoy it! Pam x
My lovely publisher has given me two copies of Eva the Bear and the Magic Snowflake to giveaway!
To enter check my X (Twitter) page and it's easy peasy at @drpamspurr
Here's my children's storybook on Amazon!
Competition closes Wednesday August 7th so please enter now and good luck!
Advice My column for Wingman Dating App...
It’s bound to happen, sometimes sooner, sometimes later, but you will have your first disagreement. The first disagreement can send some people into a panic especially if they’ve only been dating a short time.
It doesn’t necessarily have to spell ‘red flags’ for your new relationship because you’ve argued. It can be a great learning experience about each other and actually lead to a more significant relationship than simply dating.
Here are some damage limitation top tips:
(These will help you argue ‘well’!)
*Choose a moment when you’re both calm to talk about things
*Switch-off mobiles/tech, to prevent interruptions.
*Agree one goal to discuss about what you’ve argued about. Let’s say that you’ve argued generally about how one of you wants to see the other more frequently. The goal could be to understand how busy that person is so they could tell you more about how they spend their time meaning that at this point they expect fewer dates.
*Give each other a few minutes uninterrupted talking time.
*Begin with a positive, for example, say something specific about the fun you’ve had on your first few dates.
*Accept responsibility for your part in the issue - problems are rarely 100% one person's fault.
*Agree if things start getting heated you'll stop, take a breather, and try a different tack discussing the issue.
*Reflect back to him/her what he/she says to you, to see that you've understood them correctly. Because when we’re angry or upset we often misinterpret things.
*Tell them what most attracts you to them – always a winner.
*Beware how much you moan to family or friends about little disagreements you have with him/her. If you make it sound like it is all a ‘negative’ they might start worrying unnecessarily about this very new relationship. Keep chats with friends/family balanced.
Good luck! You might settle any stress between you and go on to have a fabulous relationship. Or maybe it will fizzle out anyway but these tips give it a chance.
If there are any little ones in your life, Dr Pam’s first children’s story book is out now: http://tinyurl.com/36y3xr6n
I don't want you to stop speaking to each other...
I really couldn't have asked for nicer reviews for my first children's storybook. I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to review it.
If you need an adventure story, with a very positive message of finding your courage, for the child in your life, please see Eva the Bear here:
My new column for Wingman Dating App...
It can be daunting to think about dating after a long-term relationship has broken down. One survey found over 70% of people, who had gone through major breakup, felt very nervous about getting back out there.
At some point you need to get going and try dating again. Without taking that risk, you won’t know what you might be missing.
The following are a handful of top tips for dating again:
*Listen to your intuition. Let’s say you’ve gone on a dating app like the wonderful Wingman. You match with someone but then they say something that makes you feel uncomfortable. This is not the time to feel uncomfortable around someone. This is the time to say to yourself: this isn’t the person for me. And move on.
*Having mentioned “moving on”, don’t feel guilty! Big break-ups can make us feel we don’t have any control. Even if the breakup was your choice, you didn’t take the choice to break up from a happy place. You would have been in an unhappy place.
Having met countless singles, I know guilt plays a huge part in them feeling they must take whatever is on offer.
Scratch that thought, you can move on as many times as you want to, if things don’t feel right with someone new.
*No point in trying to make the new into something old! It’s surprising how many singles, who have come out of an unhappy breakup, still look to create the same relationship again.
It’s important when you’re getting to know someone new, that you embrace new things with them. Don’t try and get them to help you recreate your old life. Your old life is gone and you have a new one to look forward to.
*Stay in control when it comes to sex! I’d be rich if I had a pound for every time a newly single lamented the fact that they jumped into bed with someone new and it was a bad experience. And it could’ve been a bad experience for many reasons - the person just wanted sex when you wanted more, it was really bad sex because you didn’t have the confidence to say what you like in bed, and so on.
The simple way to avoid regrets is to only have sex when you feel confident and in control about the situation. If you’re feeling pressure from that new person, they aren’t the right person for you!
* Work on your basic confidence! Your dating confidence is part of your general confidence. So the more confident you feel generally, the better for getting out dating again. On a daily basis, challenge yourself to do new things. They just have to be small but they have to be different. Break out of your routine, try new places and new activities. Slowly you will find that you’re feeling good about yourself. When you feel good inside, that’s when you attract worthy people.
Good luck and happy dating! x
If there are any little ones in your life, Dr Pam’s first children’s story book is out now: http://tinyurl.com/36y3xr6n
Hope you make that heart of yours happy again...
Ocean No 5 continues the 'Ocean' series from two years ago. Acrylics on 300 gm fine art paper. How deep do your feelings run?
Shown here in a black frame with framing options available. Unframed it's 40.5 x 50.5 cm (16 x 20 in). PLus close ups below.
To purchase please email pamspurrart@gmail.com £315 including present frame PLUS P&P and for international sales $395 PLUS P&P and any international taxes.
Sizzling Sex
Successful Dating
Happy and Healthy Relationships
Powerful Parenting
