Latest From the Blog


New painting: New Life

New Life is acrylics on canvas, 70 x 80 cm (27 x 31"). It was inspired by someone telling me how happy they were as they felt they had a new lease on life after facing many challenges. 

To purchase please email pamspurrart@gmail.com It's £625 plus P&P or for international sales $800 plus P&P plus any international taxes.

Photographed here sitting on a mantle plus two close-up shots...


Calling all singles! Seven possible signs you're dating a sociopath!

My new column for Wingman dating App...

Have you had an experience with a man or woman that left you reeling with questions and also with self-doubt? You think to yourself: they were so into me at first, then things got weird. They became unreliable, they hurt me without realising it, plus there was so much drama!

It might be the case you were dating a sociopath. When someone asks me what one is, I mention the Max Branning character in EastEnders (let’s hope they bring him back, he is one fantastic character).

You see, Max could be as charming as Prince Charming! But that charm was only to gain what he wanted, to the cost of all who crossed his path. His own children’s needs come a distant second to his needs.

He could have won an Olympic medal for lying without even drawing breath. Because sociopaths lie and cheat as easily as you and I breathe.

They just don’t feel remorse if they’ve hurt someone or let them down. I like to say that sociopath have a few key ‘tools’ missing from the emotional toolbox that the rest of us have.

It’s hard to pin down the statistics and they vary from 1% of the population to 4% depending on the study. But those stats mean singles are likely to come across one.

Here are seven key signs to watch for:

*Excuses, excuses – Even if you manage to catch them lying, they’ve a way of ‘massaging’ things so they come out looking okay. They have an excuse for everything.

*Unreliability is their middle name – At the beginning of dating they may be on time. But very swiftly they start letting you down. You get annoyed with their unreliability and they swear they’ll change. Don’t hold your breath.

*They come on strong – Sociopaths literally charm the pants off you. Their focus is very good – and if they want you – they’re totally focused on you. This can be extremely flattering but short lived. Wait until they’re bored and their attitude changes very quickly.

*They seem to make a lot of mistakes – As you get to know them, you notice they make a lot of mistakes, and they don’t seem to learn from these. There’s often drama around them but it’s the other person’s fault. They swear how ‘bad’ that person is, how useless they are and why that person is to blame.

*They seem exciting – Sociopaths are risktakers - sometimes it’s exciting and other times you think they’re exercising bad judgement. It’s easy to get drawn into the excitement and buzz they can generate.

*They do things at the expense of others – While they’re into you - when you’re first dating - you may not personally be harmed by them. However, you might notice they’ve little regard for other people. They just don’t seem to care if they’ve upset others. They might even laugh at other’s misfortunes.

*They accuse you of being paranoid – They’ll turn the tables on you when you catch them in one too many lies. There are very good at gas lighting and will say things like you’re paranoid. They make you feel you’re in the wrong.

Protect yourself by listening to your intuition! When it tells you this new person doesn’t stack up, pay attention, otherwise you’ll get caught out by their selfish, scheming sociopathic ways.

Good luck, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

 

 Letter to the sociopath (feel free to add your own) | Dating a Sociopath


Please check out my new painting POWER!

My new painting POWER is based on all the inspirational women that I know and see in the media! It's acrylics on fine art paper, 66 x 86 cm (26 x 33.5 in). Pictured here in a black frame but you can chooae framing options! 

To purchase please email pamspurrart@gmail.com £695 plus P&P. Or $850 plus P&P and any taxes for international sales.

Power represents the natural force women have, like a volcanic eruption! 

Here is a slightly 'wonky' photo plus some close-up shots...

 


A fantastic night for the show opening and raising funds for the Pink Ribbon Foundation...

There was a fantastic turnout for the art show opening at the Bickerton Grace gallery on Friday night. There was so much fun and I was even swept off my feet as you can see! 
 
Bidding for the painting I've donated to the awesome breast cancer charity, the Pink Ribbon Foundation goes on for another six days. So check out the bidding here and dig deep for such an amazing cause! 
 
You can come through the art show (it's free!) between now and August 27th, Mondays through Fridays between 10 AM and 4 PM. And by appointment at the weekend. Please see more details below...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Calling all singles: What goes on in the minds of players?

My new column for Wingman dating app

If not hundred percent, then nearly a hundred percent of people who have ever been on the dating scene have come across a so-called player. That person who often hones in on someone who already has a partner as evidently Nathalia has in Love Island. Or other common behaviours we see in players include blowing hot and cold, being unreliable, and checking out other people behind your back.

 

The three most common reasons people become players:

 

1/ Many players are often deeply insecure. They muck people around to try and build their own confidence. They might have been hurt in the past and by toying with people’s emotions they hurt others is a type of revenge.  

 

2/ Many players often scared of intimacy. By playing around it protects them from never getting emotionally close to someone even if they get sexually close to them.

 

3/ Some players are naturally cruel people. They may fall on the sociopathic scale where they lack empathy for others. They might also lack remorse for treating others badly.

 

Those are powerful reasons to stay away from players although often people are drawn to them. It can feel quite exciting and exhilarating as you wonder if you will be ‘the one’ they choose!

 

What’s interesting is the fine line between what many people in the middle ground consider ‘playing’.

 

The stats show a number of interesting things:

*1 in 10 thinking sexting was `just a bit of fun',

*However including suggestive photos were considered by the majority, 62%, to be unacceptable.

*A third of those who admit to sexting someone other than the  person they’re dating, said it led on to more compromising suggestions like meeting up,

*57% of people over the age of 35 think having dinner with someone other than the person you’re dating is crossing the line.

*45 per cent of people in this age group think that regularly texting someone you have an emotional connection with is actually cheating.

It’s up to every single person whether or not they want to play around with a player. Simply don’t go into it hoping you will be ‘the one’ they change their ways for. Having a bit of fun is completely different but you’re bound to get hurt if you’re waiting for them to change.

 

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

You don't want a player to do this to your heart...

 

 


ART EXHIBITION OPEN TO ALL!

I hope to see you at the forthcoming art exhibition from July 29th through August 27th!

Also don't miss out on the auction raising money for the wonderful Pink Ribbon Foundation!

More info here...


Please support this charity auction for the Pink Ribbon Foundation!

Please support this fantastic breast cancer charity by bidding on my painting: Pink Grass!

Here's the AUCTION-BID LINK 

The highest bidder who will be contacted after the bidding closes on August 8th can choose either a white or black frame. Here are photos in both potential frames as well as some close-ups. Get involved, support this great charity! Thank you!

And please do come to the exciting exhibition running from 30th July through 27th August at the Bickerton Grace Gallery. I'm showing a number of paintings along with two other artists. 

The gallery address is: 60 The Highway, London E1W-2BF, see you there!

Close ups...

 


WILL THIS BE YOUR SUMMER OF LOVE? Take the quick quiz...

My new column for Wingman Dating App...

It feels like love is in the air. The sunshine, upcoming holidays, and evenings spent enjoying drinks on pub terraces, all put people in the mood to connect with someone new or strengthen things with a new partner.

It’s easy to spot singles flirting at a friend’s wedding or over drinks in the pubs. But when you meet that special person and start a new relationship this summer, here’s a quick quiz to help determine if it will go the course.

Answer these questions honestly to see if things are going to be too hot to handle or not:

1/ Do you and your new partner equally put your relationship first?

A/ Yes, we do prioritise it

B/ Not at all, it’s already a problem  

C/ Sometimes we prioritise it evenly

2/ Does your new partner’s family have too much influence on him/her?

A/ No, my partner’s quite independent like that

B/ Yes, he/she can’t breathe without them having an opinion  

C/ Sometimes they stick their oar in

3/ Would you say the disagreements between you are ‘healthy’?

A/ Yes, they tend to clear the air

B/ No, they’re already pretty toxic  

C/ Sometimes but some of them are about point scoring

4/ Do your attitudes to money appear to clash?

A/ No, we’re very similar about spending and budgeting

B/ Definitely, there’s tension over money

C/ At times we argue over spending

5/ Do you expect your new partner to know what you’re feeling inside about something?

A/ No, I accept they aren’t not a mind-reader

B/ Yes, of course they should

C/ Well, they should be able to guess about the important things

6/ Has time spent on social media annoyed either of you?

A/ No, our use of social media doesn’t affect us

B/ Yes, because I/they can’t resist checking it

C/ At times one of us gets annoyed by it

4+ As: A ‘summer of love’ is waiting!

Choosing mainly As reveals the potential for a strong relationship. You’re probably already communicating well and try to find compromises.

4+ Bs: You’re feeling the heat!

B answers tend to reveal the potential for conflict between you as well as actual conflict. To help improve your relationship follow summer love tips below.

4+ Cs: Summertime blues ahead!

Mainly C answers reveals a potentially challenging relationship. You can turn things around if you check out the summer love advice below.

*Be positive when you need to discuss differences, like their family being over-involved in your new relationship. Starting with a positive helps any difficult chat. Say something like, “We get along well when we do X, Y or Z, I wish we had that good feeling when talking about OUR families. NB you shouldn’t say when talking about THEIR family!

*Be wise about how social media can become like a third person in your relationship. When together switch off your tech and talk! And if you know they don’t like you posting about your new relationship, then don’t do it. If you stay together there will be plenty of chances to post about it.

*Tackle issues that have started to cause conflict when you’re both in good moods. Couples make the mistake of only ‘talking’ (make that yelling) about issues when they are actually arguing! Make this a new relationship something different by actually heading off issues when you see there are about to start.

*If you must argue, then argue wisely. Resist shouting nasty things at each other when you have that first big row. The things you’ll never forget. Take a breather if one of you is furious, while they calm down.

*You’re both discovering new things about each other and that’s exciting. And if either of you has an interest or hobby that the other doesn’t particularly like, it’s okay not to do everything together!

Good luck, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

 Sunlight Sunshine Sunset - Free photo on Pixabay


New painting: Kisses No. 2

Kisses No. 2, acrylics on canvas, 30 x 40 cm. Based on a beautiful story of someone falling in love and they told me how wonderful the kisses felt! Isn't that first flush of love wonderful? 

They'd been single for a very long time and they were on cloud nine when they clicked with a wonderful new person.

To purchase please email pamspurrart@gmail.com £275 plus P&P or $330 for international sales plus P&P plus any international tax.

Shown in photo sitting on a mantel but obviously it can be hung on a wall.

And some close up shots...


Why Boris Johnson has tried to cling on by his fingertips...

Here's my latest comment piece for the Daily Mail about Johnson's personality and his refusal to accept defeat! 

It feels like the country is going through such a crisis and he's made things worse with the uncertainty!

Take care, Pam x  

 Boris Johnson's amusement park act shows Tories need a new mission |  Financial Times

 

 


The Emotional Eater's Diet

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