Latest From the Blog


New painting: Inner Leopard...

Here's my new painting based on one woman saying that she was going to find her "inner leopard" to overcome some challenges.

It's acrylics on canvas, 60 x 90 cm. 

To purchase please email me pamspurrart@gmail.com. It's £495 plus postage and packaging or for international sales it's $600 plus postage and packaging.

We all need to find our inner leopard at times!

Here's the full painting followed by some close-ups...

 


What kind of women fall for violent prisoners...

Here's the piece I wrote for the Mirror about the grotesque Levi Bellfield being 'engaged'...


Calling all singles: Dating Stats that Give Food for Thought!

My new column for Wingmand Dating App...

Some dating stats recently crossed my desk that I think are worth taking a look at. From the stats, you can also get some direction about what’s on – and what’s not on – when you go on a date.

Let’s look through them, here we go…

  • It takes just 13 seconds to decide if you're attracted to someone but it takes 15 minutes to decide if you want a second date …

This feels like a lot of pressure! You only get 13 seconds for them to be attracted or not. But the good news is you get a further 15 minutes where they might decide they want a second date with you.

How to optimise that 15 minutes? Check out the next stat!

  • The biggest conversational faux pas include sexual expectations (55%), plans to start a family (39%) and money (31%)

Uh oh, you don’t want to talk about your sexual expectations on the first date unless you met at a sex club!

Equally give yourself a chance for second date by not talking about starting a family or money.

  • A two-hour date for drinks and dinner has been voted the best way to get to know someone properly

I’ve often said that it’s best to meet for drinks only and then if you’re getting on like a house on fire you can suggest staying for dinner. However, this survey of singles said they thought a full date with drinks and dinner is the best way forward. You need to decide which route to take when you make a date with that new person.

  • Only half (53%) would give a date a second chance if they didn't immediately live up to expectations

This that is good news because after that first 15 minutes together, even if you don’t immediately live up to expectations you’ve got a 50-50 chance of getting another date. Let this give you confidence!

  • Two-thirds (66%) believe that people have lost the art of conversation, making face-to-face more difficult

I’m not surprised by this stat. So much of our lives are spent messaging, much less do we actually talk. If you’ve spent the last couple months constantly messaging friends and family – and you have a date coming up – get some practice in and pick up the phone/video chat with friends and family.

  • Making you laugh out loud (28%) and having a heart of gold (27%) are seen as the best qualities to show on a first date

This is a real eye-opener and should give you more confidence. Because if you’re not a natural at cracking funny jokes you can show what a good, honest and caring person you are.

  • Checking smartphone (37%), vaping indoors (30%) and leaving to take a cigarette (27%) ruin chances of a second date

Checking your phone is disastrous. It shows you just not into the date. And vaping or smoking is another turnoff unless you both do it. If you’re with someone who doesn’t smoke, get a smoke in before the date. Or better yet, think about stopping altogether,

Good luck getting to grips with the real info these stats give you, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

Hearts and kisses stock vector. Illustration of print - 33679129


Calling all singles: do you need drama in your life?

My latest column for Wingman Dating App... (I have no idea why the font's gone crazy below and I can't seem to correct it)

You’ve had a few dates and they seem to be just your sort of person. Then one day something goes wrong – in their life, at a restaurant you’re at, in their work, wherever – and they have an absolute fit about it. Where has all this drama come from you wonder?

Having worked with people for years I know that the drama queens and kings amongst us can keep things under wrap and calm for a certain length of time. But something happens, that triggers them, and off they go like a rocket.

Here are a few key things about drama queens and kings to help you know what to expect if you’ve started dating one. And if they have other good qualities that mean you want to stick it out for a time and that’s fair enough.

MS DRAMA QUEEN – Her headlines: Life’s never boring with her! She’s fiery and unpredictable. Maybe she grew up with lots of siblings and developed her dramatic side to get her share of the limelight. Or her parents over-indulged her - so she hasn’t developed much patience and overreact to things. Alternatively, it could be that one of her parents thrived on drama and she’s just used to relating to the world that way.

The Pros: *Lots of people go for women like this because they can seem exciting. *People don’t get bored with drama queens although they might end it for other reasons – like all the drama that happens in front of their friends. *Drama queens seem very good at flirting and give clear messages if they’re attracted to someone. And people like clear messages when there dating. It’s

The Cons: *Drama queens take things to heart and can overreact before clarifying situations. Including they’ll take things to heart like having bad service at a restaurant when actually they just need to let the restaurant know where they have fallen short. *They’ll have big bust ups but equally big make-ups with partners (and friends!). *They can be a bit wild and end up regretting some of their behaviour on dates.

Let’s take a look at the drama kings…

MR DRAMA KING - Their headlines: The male equivalent to the Drama Queen is just as lively and feisty. People realise quite soon that they don’t get bored in his company. He might’ve grown up in a family with lots of drama and he brings it to the dating scene.

 

His First Move: Drama kings are not shy at coming forward and his first move may be a ridiculous chat up line or something to grab your attention.

The Pros: *They can be exciting because you’re never quite sure how an evening will pan out. *They’re very passionate, including in bed. *They know how to have fun (before the drama) and often have a good social network.

It’s up to you if you decide to stick it out and try and create a smoother vibe between you. That means setting your boundaries very quickly on their dramatic behaviour. Spell out to them that you did not like the way they had a hissy fit with the waiter. Have a conversation with them about whether they’ve thought about the things that trigger them and how to develop more positive ways of dealing with triggers.

All you can do is have that sort of chat with them but they have to do instigate a new set of behaviours. Ultimately, when their behaviour is out of control, you’re in control and can decide to leave them and their drama behind.

Finally, if they’re taking up their drama on you then they’re definitely a waste of your time!

Good luck, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php 

King And Queen Hd - 691x915 Wallpaper - teahub.io


New painting: Spring

My new painting "Spring" is based on one person telling me they longed to enjoy springtime but had so many challenges bringing them 'down'. These spring-like colours came to my mind as they spoke, with a few dark undertones to reflect their difficult feelings.

To purchase please email pamspurrart@gmail.com. Price is £395 PLUS P&P or for international sales it's $500 PLUS P&P.

It's acrylic paints on 300gsm Bockingford paper, overall size (including frame) is 64 x 84 cm.

Here it's shown in a light weight white frame and also I've photo'ed it in a lightweight black frame. Plus some close up shots below...

 


Dating After a Breakup? Don’t make these mistakes...

My latest Wingman Dating App column...

Literally everyone goes through at least one breakup in a lifetime and then, when you’re ready, it’s onwards and upwards to start dating again.

However, there's so much that can scupper your chances to find romance when still a bit vulnerable. It’s best to be aware of these five  classic post-breakup traps we fall into.

Post-breakup Trap No. 1: You're so lonely!

You're used to having your ex's affection ‘on tap’ - they could give you cuddles after a bad day, a row with your sister or falling out with your boss. The lonely nights now seem to stretch on for an eternity. Unfortunately looking for love when you're still feeling loneliness makes you more likely to date any old person - even someone who is not going to be good for your breakup recovery.

How to sort it: Rely on your friends to see you through the lonely nights. Stay away from one-night-stands that’ll make you even lonelier (unless you have strong heart and simply want sexual release). Get out and try some new hobbies - take an evening class, join a gym, etc.

Post-breakup Trap No. 2: You'll show them!

Inside you think the best way to get back at your ex is to show them how quickly you can find a new partner. Dating for this reason usually backfires. The next person you meet gets mixed signals from you - probably because you drop mentions of your ex into your conversation too much.

How to sort it: If you simply want to get back at your ex then using another person to do so is one of the worst possible ways. You’re unlikely to come out well! Instead, when you cross paths with your ex hold your head high, put on a confident front and just act as if life is fantastic.

Post-breakup Trap No. 3: You're feeling a bit bitter!

Dating, eh? Can't trust anyone, they only want one thing, they're selfish, and so on. If you're breakups left you feeling this bitter then you're likely to put off new people who otherwise would ask you out. They can sense such negativity a mile away.

How to sort it: Definitely rationalise such irrational feelings. Even if your ex broke your heart, maybe cheated on you, etc., not all partners are like them. When you have such thoughts stop yourself immediately and challenge them. Remind yourself of the ‘good ones’ you know.

Post-breakup Trap No. 4: Rose coloured spectacles!

Don't get caught up feeling there'll never be another person like your ex. Especially if your breakup was something that couldn't be helped like they had to move abroad for the most exciting job ever, etc. Putting them on a pedestal and seeing them through rose coloured specs means you don't give that good person who wants to ask you out a look-in.

How to sort it: Keep that seemingly perfect ex-partner in perspective. No one is perfect. Remind yourself of the times you argued or when they could be a bit difficult. Getting that perspective will get you ready to date again.

Post-breakup Trap No. 5: Being single is sad!

Some people only get their self worth through the person they have hanging on their arm. They define themselves completely by their relationships. If they're single, they believe they must be a bit sad. This'll definitely come across as a bit desperate to the people you're now meeting – because it’s hard to disguise such negative feelings.

How to sort it: Start relishing all your good points - the things that make you, you. Think about the things your friends appreciate in you. Stop believing that you're only a worthy person if you're part of a couple. Enjoy doing things with your friends and as a single.

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

 20,264 Broken Heart Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock


New Painting: Bold Heart of Ukraine! All proceeds to The Red Cross Ukraine appeal!

Bold Heart of Ukraine, Acrylics on canvas, 60 x 90 cm. The proceeds of the sale will go to the Red Cross Ukraine appeal.
 
Simply send a bid to pamspurrart@gmail.com and I will give the painting to the highest bidder. 
 
Bidding will close April 14th, 2022. 
 
We must support the Ukrainians in any way we can!
 
Here is the full size painting followed by some close-up shots. Thank you for your bid! Love, Pam x
 
 
 
 
 


Calling all singles...Don't Get Duped by a Tinder Swindler!

Here's my latest column for Wingman dating App...

If you haven’t watched the Tinder Swindler on Netflix – and you’re single – it’s a must watch for anyone looking for love. Although known now as Simon Leviev, Shimon Hayut spun a dark web of deceit conning hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions of pounds from innocent singles.

And if you are a man, don’t think you can’t be duped. You should definitely watch Inventing Anna!

Here are a few top tips to avoid being duped

*If they seem ‘too good to be true’ when you start chatting online - or if you’ve met them face-to-face - then they probably are. Con artists like to create what they think your fantasy will be. They appear to be ‘perfect’ when it comes to your romantic feelings. They know all the buttons to push to get you excited about them.

*If they seem hesitant about introducing you to their friends, take it as a red flag. Con artists rarely invite you into their actual personal life. When it comes to the case of Simon Leviev, he did have his bodyguard and other people on his ‘team’, that the single women were introduced to. But that’s very rare.

*Watch out for pretty much unbelievable excuses when they go missing at times. Especially when it comes to online con artists, they’re usually talking to many singles at the same time. They juggle many potential ‘marks’.

So, if they go on the missing list from time to time - plus you also haven’t met their friends - take this as a signal that something is wrong.

*They seem to really ‘get into’ your head. You may be swept off your feet because they seem to like everything you do. But such con artists are really good at it quickly identifying what you like, and what your interests are, and then feign interest in the same things.

*Out of nowhere they suddenly ask you if they can borrow some money. The reason why they will suddenly bring up needing money for something urgent, is because it throws you. You’re less likely to think through what they’re asking and say yes as it’s out of the blue.

Deal with this in a straightforward way saying that you never lend money. Let’s face it, if they then cool things off, it’s a clear sign they’re not going to waste any more time on you.

*Something that is rarely flagged up, is the fact that they may not ask you for money but they may ask to borrow something that’s quite valuable. It might be something like an expensive camera you have, something that they can easily sell. Be very aware of loaning expensive items to someone you barely know.

What I always say to singles who want to “give him/her another chance” is what they would say to a single friend in that position. Would they tell the single friend to avoid this person at all cost? Yes! And they should take their own advice.

You don’t need to give someone who seems dodgy another chance. Cut ties, move on and find someone worthy of you.

Happy – and safe – dating, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

 You really can die of a broken heart – here's the science


New painting: Green Fish

My new painting Green Fish is acrylic paints on canvas, 60 x 90 cm. Based on a dream that one person recounted to me about green fish on a journey - and swimming after them - hoping to catch them. In their waking life they were chasing a few goals and this dream reflected this.

To purchase please email me here pamspurrart@gmail.com £450 plus P&P or for international sales $600 plus P&P.

Pictured here with close ups...

 

 

 


Dating tips for Valentine’s and beyond...

My recent column for Wingman Dating App...

Although written for Valentine's Day when singles weren't mingling as much, these tips can help with online dating anytime. And now that restrictions are dropped things will get back to 'normal' soon!

I really fear this year, the legendary St. Valentine will definitely be spinning in his 1700 year-old grave! Temporarily, the time was gone when you could grab a single friend, get out this V-Day week and have loads of venues to choose from.

Here are a few top tips for online dating this week

Spread your St Valentine wings – Definitely make the most of the app this week but at the same time look for some fun moments on social media where you might be able to be a bit flirty.

In this day and age, it’s important that flirtatiousness is fun and doesn’t cross the mark. This doesn’t stop you giving lots of ‘likes’ to someone you think looks attractive. Hopefully they’ll notice!

Get out of your comfort zone and look past your ‘usual type’ – Maybe you’ve always stuck to the type of person you think you’re most attracted to – they have to have a certain type of job or a certain look. Give it a go, dump your type for this week and keep an open mind about having a little flirt - or checking out the profiles - of people who are outside of your usual type.

Don’t despair – If nothing happens in the run-up to Valentine’s Day, don’t worry about it! Make sure you work that ‘onwards and upwards’ vibe. Maintaining a positive dating attitude definitely helps when you come across people in the future. As I’ve said in many columns, people can ‘read’ your vibe quite easily – whether it’s negative, positive or somewhere in between.

And if you have someone new in your life? Here are a few more tips

Show them you’ve been paying attention to your online and FaceTime chats - Send them their favourite chocolate bars that they’ve mentioned in your chats. Or their favourite tipple or something that reflects their birth year – like the DVD of a film from that time. These small but thoughtful gifts make a difference to a very new dating situation!

Make a memory - If you haven’t met up yet because it’s very new, why not suggest a fun and flirty FaceTime where you toast each other with some fizz and each have the same plate of finger foods. You can definitely flirt with food, telling them how you’d love to feed them some finger foods if they were actually with you. Having a creative first Valentine’s night like that will go down in your memory-banks as something that solidified your new relationship.

Already taken the plunge to lockdown together? Some new couples decided around late last year/around Christmas that they would lockdown together because it just felt right. A mistake in some cases but the right choice in others. It’s been a number of weeks and now is the time to get playful with fun fantasies. You can boost each other’s bedroom confidence by revealing the wild fantasies you had about each other - sexy thoughts you had about the other after you first met online and leading up to when you got together.

Happy flirting, happy Valentine’s, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

 350+ Hearts Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash


The Emotional Eater's Diet

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