Latest From the Blog


My thoughts on why Boris Johnson won't quit, in the Daily Mirror...

Having watched countless Boris Johnson interviews over the years I've commented in the Daily Mirror on the personality traits he probably has that means he will never quit. He'll have to be pushed from office! Here are my thoughts 

Take care, Pam x


Choosing a honeymoon destination? What it reveals about you...

In today's Sun newspaper I've given the low down on what honeymoon choices say about a couple. PLUS why a honeymoon (even a few days away for a UK staycation) is important for your relationship!

Enjoy your life together! Love, Pam x

Couple Beach Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash


Singles: Must know age gap relationship info off back of Love island...

Mind the Age Gap! My latest column for Wingman Dating App...

Age gap relationships have been all over social media with Gemma Owen having said she fancied Davide Sanclimenti on Love Island. Some people have been up in arms about her being 19 and not ready to fall for a 27 year old. I don’t think that’s a problem at all if you know what you’re getting into when you start dating someone of a different age.

The attraction in age gap relationships can be enormous. The older person seems wise and to have lots of life experience. The younger person offers energy and a new lease of life.

You can make an age gap relationship work despite the statistics saying they won’t. For instance, even five years between you can mean an 18% greater chance of a breakup. And the eight years between Gemma and Davide leads to a 25% greater chance of a breakup.

And it’s an eye watering 95% chance you’ll breakup if there is a 20 year gap between you!

So how can you make it work? Go in with eyes wide open and check out these tips:

*Be prepared for friends, family, workmates to have a range of reactions to your age gap. From joking about your age gap and teasing you, to downright being against it. To balance this negativity, you to have to prepare for it and show the world that you are aware of the challenges you’ll face as an age gap couple.

*Don’t sweep “baby talk” under the carpet! One of the most significant issues you’ll face is whether or not to have children if you’re dating leads to you going the distance. The older one may already have children. Or might have fertility problems at this point in their life. Don’t underestimate how this can totally rock your loving feelings if you don’t address this.

*If either of you already have children, probably the old one, it’s important to understand how children might feel about the age gap. They might feel embarrassed if they’re younger and don’t really understand that you can still be in love with someone who is a very different age.

If they’re older children, they might be near in age to the younger partner. This happened in my first marriage where my two stepsons were much nearer in age to me than I was to my first husband.

Again, if you discuss how to handle their reactions you will be much better placed to be singing from the same hymn sheet. Showing a united front to them will show them that they have less to worry about your relationship.

*Your sex life is also something where there may be challenges. Although that hot honeymoon period means you both might be satisfied when first dating, after that, the older one may want less sex than the younger one.

If you talk about your sexual energy, desires and needs you will be able to find compromise.

Facing such challenges gives you a real head start on your ‘age gap dating’!

Good luck, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

 Statement from Love Island

 


New painting: Pink Grass

Pink Grass, acrylics on 300 g Bockingford paper. Overall size including frame is 64 x 84 cm. Photographed here in both white and black frames. Framing options available. Close up shots included here too.
 
Based on one person telling about their dream of "pink grass" that seemed hopeful in a time when they were looking to broaden their horizons when life had seemed difficult. 
 
The purchase please email pamspurrart@gmail.com £450 plus P&P or for international sales $575 plus P&P and any taxes.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Singles! Let’s Get Back to Basics to Find Love!

My new column for Wingman Dating App...

There’s so much chatter in the world of dating about things like “kitten fishing” (telling little white lies to help catch a date) and “cushioning” (you’re dating someone but not totally exclusively and you have some other romantic “cushions” to pad things out if it doesn’t work).

Sometimes it feels like all these get in the way the basics of dating. Here are four top tips that will help you make the most of dating:

*Believe in you – I never get tired of saying in my columns about how you must build your self-belief to get the most out single life and looking for love. Begin to build your ‘SB’ by thinking about the three reasons why you’re a ‘catch’. Really believe what friends and family tell you about your best qualities. And make it a daily practice to remind yourself of those qualities.

Because we all know what it’s like to look across a room and judge that they don’t think much of themselves. That’s because we read their body language that looks anxious and closed down. Basically they’re telling the world “don’t approach me!” Hold that in mind as an example of how not to be when you’re out and about.

*Learn from your past – Made mistakes in the past? Maybe you were overly keen about someone you were really attracted to. That led to them backing off because it was just too much. You do not have to play games and be standoffish! But you do have to think about past mistakes, think how you can do things differently and put that into action.

*Listen to your intuition – This is something that people don’t do! They get a bad/off vibe from someone they’re chatting to online, or have met through work or at a bar, but they don’t listen to what their intuition is saying. They tell themselves to give that person another chance. They make excuses like: “they’re having an off day”. Be aware of how much you’re excusing second rate behaviour when you should just move on.

*Widen your circle of opportunity – Going to the same places and seeing the same faces? No surprise that you haven’t met anyone new! Time to break free and check out some new places. Also say “yes” to those random opportunities that sometimes you feel too tired for. That friend at work asks you to grab a drink after work? Go ahead, you never know what might happen. You might meet someone interesting when you just sitting there having a drink. By widening your circle of opportunity, you bring more people into your life and one might be potentially the love of your life.

Good luck and happy dating, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

Self Confidence, Self-Assurance, Heart


New painting: Inner Leopard...

Here's my new painting based on one woman saying that she was going to find her "inner leopard" to overcome some challenges.

It's acrylics on canvas, 60 x 90 cm. 

To purchase please email me pamspurrart@gmail.com. It's £495 plus postage and packaging or for international sales it's $600 plus postage and packaging.

We all need to find our inner leopard at times!

Here's the full painting followed by some close-ups...

 


What kind of women fall for violent prisoners...

Here's the piece I wrote for the Mirror about the grotesque Levi Bellfield being 'engaged'...


Calling all singles: Dating Stats that Give Food for Thought!

My new column for Wingmand Dating App...

Some dating stats recently crossed my desk that I think are worth taking a look at. From the stats, you can also get some direction about what’s on – and what’s not on – when you go on a date.

Let’s look through them, here we go…

  • It takes just 13 seconds to decide if you're attracted to someone but it takes 15 minutes to decide if you want a second date …

This feels like a lot of pressure! You only get 13 seconds for them to be attracted or not. But the good news is you get a further 15 minutes where they might decide they want a second date with you.

How to optimise that 15 minutes? Check out the next stat!

  • The biggest conversational faux pas include sexual expectations (55%), plans to start a family (39%) and money (31%)

Uh oh, you don’t want to talk about your sexual expectations on the first date unless you met at a sex club!

Equally give yourself a chance for second date by not talking about starting a family or money.

  • A two-hour date for drinks and dinner has been voted the best way to get to know someone properly

I’ve often said that it’s best to meet for drinks only and then if you’re getting on like a house on fire you can suggest staying for dinner. However, this survey of singles said they thought a full date with drinks and dinner is the best way forward. You need to decide which route to take when you make a date with that new person.

  • Only half (53%) would give a date a second chance if they didn't immediately live up to expectations

This that is good news because after that first 15 minutes together, even if you don’t immediately live up to expectations you’ve got a 50-50 chance of getting another date. Let this give you confidence!

  • Two-thirds (66%) believe that people have lost the art of conversation, making face-to-face more difficult

I’m not surprised by this stat. So much of our lives are spent messaging, much less do we actually talk. If you’ve spent the last couple months constantly messaging friends and family – and you have a date coming up – get some practice in and pick up the phone/video chat with friends and family.

  • Making you laugh out loud (28%) and having a heart of gold (27%) are seen as the best qualities to show on a first date

This is a real eye-opener and should give you more confidence. Because if you’re not a natural at cracking funny jokes you can show what a good, honest and caring person you are.

  • Checking smartphone (37%), vaping indoors (30%) and leaving to take a cigarette (27%) ruin chances of a second date

Checking your phone is disastrous. It shows you just not into the date. And vaping or smoking is another turnoff unless you both do it. If you’re with someone who doesn’t smoke, get a smoke in before the date. Or better yet, think about stopping altogether,

Good luck getting to grips with the real info these stats give you, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php

Hearts and kisses stock vector. Illustration of print - 33679129


Calling all singles: do you need drama in your life?

My latest column for Wingman Dating App... (I have no idea why the font's gone crazy below and I can't seem to correct it)

You’ve had a few dates and they seem to be just your sort of person. Then one day something goes wrong – in their life, at a restaurant you’re at, in their work, wherever – and they have an absolute fit about it. Where has all this drama come from you wonder?

Having worked with people for years I know that the drama queens and kings amongst us can keep things under wrap and calm for a certain length of time. But something happens, that triggers them, and off they go like a rocket.

Here are a few key things about drama queens and kings to help you know what to expect if you’ve started dating one. And if they have other good qualities that mean you want to stick it out for a time and that’s fair enough.

MS DRAMA QUEEN – Her headlines: Life’s never boring with her! She’s fiery and unpredictable. Maybe she grew up with lots of siblings and developed her dramatic side to get her share of the limelight. Or her parents over-indulged her - so she hasn’t developed much patience and overreact to things. Alternatively, it could be that one of her parents thrived on drama and she’s just used to relating to the world that way.

The Pros: *Lots of people go for women like this because they can seem exciting. *People don’t get bored with drama queens although they might end it for other reasons – like all the drama that happens in front of their friends. *Drama queens seem very good at flirting and give clear messages if they’re attracted to someone. And people like clear messages when there dating. It’s

The Cons: *Drama queens take things to heart and can overreact before clarifying situations. Including they’ll take things to heart like having bad service at a restaurant when actually they just need to let the restaurant know where they have fallen short. *They’ll have big bust ups but equally big make-ups with partners (and friends!). *They can be a bit wild and end up regretting some of their behaviour on dates.

Let’s take a look at the drama kings…

MR DRAMA KING - Their headlines: The male equivalent to the Drama Queen is just as lively and feisty. People realise quite soon that they don’t get bored in his company. He might’ve grown up in a family with lots of drama and he brings it to the dating scene.

 

His First Move: Drama kings are not shy at coming forward and his first move may be a ridiculous chat up line or something to grab your attention.

The Pros: *They can be exciting because you’re never quite sure how an evening will pan out. *They’re very passionate, including in bed. *They know how to have fun (before the drama) and often have a good social network.

It’s up to you if you decide to stick it out and try and create a smoother vibe between you. That means setting your boundaries very quickly on their dramatic behaviour. Spell out to them that you did not like the way they had a hissy fit with the waiter. Have a conversation with them about whether they’ve thought about the things that trigger them and how to develop more positive ways of dealing with triggers.

All you can do is have that sort of chat with them but they have to do instigate a new set of behaviours. Ultimately, when their behaviour is out of control, you’re in control and can decide to leave them and their drama behind.

Finally, if they’re taking up their drama on you then they’re definitely a waste of your time!

Good luck, Pam x

Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php 

King And Queen Hd - 691x915 Wallpaper - teahub.io


New painting: Spring

My new painting "Spring" is based on one person telling me they longed to enjoy springtime but had so many challenges bringing them 'down'. These spring-like colours came to my mind as they spoke, with a few dark undertones to reflect their difficult feelings.

To purchase please email pamspurrart@gmail.com. Price is £395 PLUS P&P or for international sales it's $500 PLUS P&P.

It's acrylic paints on 300gsm Bockingford paper, overall size (including frame) is 64 x 84 cm.

Here it's shown in a light weight white frame and also I've photo'ed it in a lightweight black frame. Plus some close up shots below...

 


The Emotional Eater's Diet

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