Dr Pam Spurr

First dates - some dos and don'ts!

First dates - some dos and don'ts!

*On a first date wear a killer outfit BUT most importantly make sure you feel comfortable in it, if that top just keeps falling down or the shoes are too high you’ll be self conscious all night – which WON’T help your nerves.

*Body language can be a subtle weapon in catching that man without looking too desperate – turn your body towards him when you’re talking, hold his eye contact just that extra second, he’ll soon get the message without you shouting it down a megaphone!

* You’ve got to find the balance between seeming keen but also having a life outside your desire for him! What’s scary to a bloke is when you’re always available when he asks to meet up and when you always answer the phone when he calls. Let it go to answer-phone and sometimes be busy with great stuff when he wants to see you – he’ll want to see you even more!

* When you do chat on the phone keep it fun, sexy and flirty – but keep it quite short at first! Only give him five minutes so he’s dying to ring you again – or when you ring him he’s looking forward to your call.

* Establish what I call a ‘comfort zone’ around you – so he feels good in your presence. This means being yourself and relaxed because it’ll make him feel relaxed and that he can be himself. Blokes love women who make them feel at ease but along with that don’t forget the flirting – that’ll make him feel good too!

* First dates should never be too formal. If you book dinner at a posh restaurant and can’t stand each other it can feel like an eternity trying to finish your meal and escape! Ideally meet somewhere that has a separate bar as well as a restaurant. Agree to meet for ‘drinks’- if it’s going well and you’re flirting like made you can then casually say, ‘Should we eat something?’

* If you’ve met through a common interest, e.g., a sport of hobby it can be fun to do that together but without the rest of the crowd/group who you usually do it with. It can make for easy conversation as you talk about your shared interest, allowing you both to feel confident – meaning you open up to each other more easily.

* Films aren’t particularly good for first dates because you meet and then sit side-by-side for a couple