Does Your Relationship Need Resuscitation? Welcome to the crowd...

Does Your Relationship Need Resuscitation? Welcome to the crowd if you feel your relationship took a battering over the last month or so. Unfortunately the huge responsibility that goes with providing your family a festive Christmas and making the best of the New Year takes its toll even on relatively strong relationships.

Take my quick quiz to see if your relationship has been damaged:

1/ How do you now feel about the help your partner gave you over Christmas?

A/ He was a star - couldn't ask for more

B/ It was okay with a bit of cajoling

C/ I seethe when I think of the lack of it

 2/ Have you had any time for intimacy over the last few weeks?

A/ Yes we managed to squeeze in some intimacy

B/ We had some affectionate moments but could’ve done with more

C/ I would’ve considered myself lucky if I'd even had a peck under the mistletoe!

3/ How would you describe the gift your partner gave you?

A/ Very thoughtful - was really pleased with it

B/ It was a nice thought

C/ It was obviously a last-minute rush job

4/ When it came to compromising over how you spent time together – you’d say -

A/ We definitely managed good compromise

B/ We made some compromises

C/ There wasn't any compromise

5/ How much have you rowed since Christmas?

A/ Not at all despite some stress

B/ As much as the next couple

C/ It was awful, with lots of tension

6/ Do you feel closer together or more distance since Christmas?

A/ Definitely closer together

B/ About the same as before the holidays

C/ I feel so distant from him

7/ How do you feel about the coming year?

A/ Like we're a real team

B/ I feel we could pull harder together

C/ We’re not facing it together at all, feel completely alone

Three or more A answers but no C answers: No Relationship Resuscitation Required
 You've obviously worked as a team over the Christmas period and New Year so your relationship hasn't suffered. You undoubtedly find compromise can be negotiated and both appreciate the effort the other makes. This puts you in a great position to face things this year! But still see the advice below in case you pick up a tip or two.

Three or more B answers plus no more than one C answer: Moderate Relationship Resuscitation Required

You undoubtedly care for each other but may not always show it. Typical to the Christmas and post-Christmas season, you might’ve taken each other for granted a bit or found it hard to maintain the peace with the seasonal stresses and strains. See the advice below.

Two or more C answers: Emergency Relationship Resuscitation Required!

Resentment has built and you may feel isolated within your relationship. Once you've hit your relationship rock bottom it's terribly important to take action now. Follow these five Golden rules to resuscitate your relationship now:

1/ Set Boundaries on the Past

Once resentment builds over Christmas and New Year's, couples typically get into a negative cycle of going over the same old ground about who helped, who slacked off, who did this, and who didn't do that, etc. Recriminations fly about the same old issues. Suggest to your partner that you both set a boundary on the last couple weeks. Agree not to throw the other’s misdemeanours back in their faces. Instead talk about how helpful it’d be to set a boundary now and start afresh.

2/ Rediscover Each Other

It's been the same old grind undoubtedly for a while and particularly over Christmas and New Year's Stresses, strains and demands have got in the way of you two seeing each other as worthy partners. It’s urgent that you rediscover what you love about the other. Take a few moments to reflect on what life really would be like without the other - no laughing together over a sitcom, no shared mugs of tea after a shop-up, no hugs when you've had a hard day. If you really think about it you may find it's a long list of the little differences you make to each other's lives.

3/ To Compromise is Wise

Now think carefully about the demands you make on your relationship and your partner. Do you like to have things your way? Do you like to do certain things and perhaps ignore what they would like to do? If you're honest with yourself you might find there are some key things you should be compromising over. Resolve to do that!

4/ Learn How to Argue "Well"

Every couple argues but it's a wise couple that argues well. That means not flinging nasty names at each other, knowing when to take ‘time out’ if things are getting heated, allowing the other to speak, and really listening to what the other says.

5/ Forgiveness Is Key

Forgiveness in a relationship is a wonderful thing. Of course you shouldn't forgive something as serious as abuse, but rather the smaller things that we all do. For instance, sometimes acting like the world revolves around us, not noticing when our partner is in need of support, being forgetful and perhaps less affectionate. Forgiving these little things, after discussing them, goes a long way to strengthening your bond and resuscitating your love.

An article similar to this by the published in the Express Newspaper

Did you find this article interesting?

Enter your details below to join the monthly mailing list.


Does your partner really know you? Check this out! How to get over that first awkward relationship bump... Going through a break up? Tips for an online clean up... Getting Together Again? Affair-Proof Your Relationship The Ultimate Christmas Relationship Survival Guide... Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day Nerves... Getting Together Again... Excuses at the Ready ... How to Re-light Your Fire - And Make the Second Time around a Success! Two People, But One-sided... Some thoughts on people with love Plan-Bs Passion Fatigue... How to Walk Away from an Unhappy Relationship... Subconscious Sabotage... Whatever Makes You Happy... Money does matter... Body Image Nightmare... Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day Nerves – Age-gap anxiety... Friends Connected at the Hip & Dating... Marriage SOS... Dating Again after a Breakup... Laughed straight between the sheets.... Too Good to be True... Beware the Mention of the Exes... Murder on the Dance Floor.... Lusting after Another Love... The Rise of the Plan B Pact... How Romance Can Be like Extracting Teeth... Credit Crunch Couples... Christmas time advice for struggling couples... Third-Party Interference... Opposites That Don't Attract... The Female Self-Destruct Button The Convenience of Compartments... Unlikely Apologies... Masculine Confidences The Chill Look of Contempt... He/She Isn't the Person That I Settled Down With.... Dating at a Distance... The Imperfect Perfectionists... Why He Doesn't Ring When He Says He Will... The Curse Of The Competitive Couples... It Seemed So Right, Now It’s So Wrong.... I married my mother... Never Under-estimate a GSOH... Don't Get Too Comfortable... Why Not Indulge Him? Bickering Versus A Good Old Barney.... Pre-Wedding Jitters? Join the Crowd... Do They Really Mean It? Never Underestimate The Power Of Affection And Touch ... The Facts About Flirtatious Behaviour... He Has A Nose Like Groucho Marx What Do We Lose When We Gain A New Lover? When your partner reflects on you... How to Get Things Started When You Meet Someone New Advice for struggling couples:... A Guide to Having A Happy Engagement ... Use the days between Xmas and New Year to recharge your relationship How to Get Back into the Dating Game Whose Chat-up Line Is It Anyway? 10 Steps to Overcome the Green Eyed Monster How Love Unrequited Links so Many of Our Hearts How to Breakup Amicably... Beware of the Love Pirates...Here is a warning about the lads who will capture your heart Love is in the air - seven signs that say he's attracted to you! The Best Dating Tips Ever... Whirlwind Weddings – Too Much, Too Soon! Adultery and betrayal, here are some things you might want to consider Does Your Relationship Need Resuscitation? Welcome to the crowd... Has Your Man Disappeared into His Communication ‘Cave’? When the Internet Comes between You Kissing tips that work! Bridge That Glaring Age Gap Try these love challenges (3) The Ultimate Couple's Communication Guide QUIZ: What's Your Love Profile? Try these love challenges (1) Understanding Men A Few Points About Some Male Personality Types - Try these love challenges (2) Become An Action Woman To Find Love Single Women - Personal Growth Try these love challenges (4) "Couple time" at the weekend is crucial! When you "down date" The key to looking interested not desperate when dating! Top speed dating tips! Couples - put your relationship through an MOT! Some top dating tips! More thoughts on first dates! First dates - some dos and don'ts! Beware - the problems with Internet dating! Dating "firsts" Finding love and fun on holiday! When You and Mr Right Want Different Things Relationship damage-limitation: quick fix communication tips - The three tell tale signs you aren't quite over your ex Some points about men who might give you "mad cow disease" A Few Thoughts on Successful Relationships Five Top Tips for Long Distance Relationships The Stages of Relationships A few top communication tips! Dating after a break-up Keeping positive when you want to start dating again! Notes on when to talk about BABIES - When He Pays Too Much Attention to TV, Computer Games or gadgets! Making Compromises or Being under Someone's Thumb? Some Thoughts on Adolescent Relationship Worries A Few Thoughts on Broken Hearts Are You Staying with Him or Her Because of Your Lifestyle? Some Questions And Things Men Wonder/Worry About From platonic relationship, to one night stand, to affair Do You Recognise Yourself in These Romantic Profiles? My Thoughts on Pre-Marital Counselling Dating tips for MEN - Surefire Ways and Where to Meet Women Dating tips for WOMEN - Love at First Sight Dating tips for WOMEN - The Wise Woman's Guide to The Art of Flirting Dating tips for WOMEN - What to Do When Things Go Wrong Dating tips for WOMEN - Capturing His Attention Dating tips for MEN - Don't Be a Romantic Loser Dating tips for MEN - Your First Date, First Phone Call and First Kiss An Affair Doesn't Necessarily Spell The End Nine Things You Should Never Say To Your New Love! Get Some Va Va Va-voom for Valentines! What Happened To The Innocence Of Valentine's? QUIZ: What Every Woman Who Wants To Marry Should Know! Christmas-proof Your Relationship For The Fraught Holiday Season! Why Mismatched Couples Should Beware! You Can Get Out Of An Abusive Or Violent Relationship! Just How Manly A Man Do You Want? Understanding The McCartney's War Of Words When They Divorced Toy Boys - The Latest Celebrity Girls’ Fashion Accessory What's the real meaning behind his Valentine's gift to you? Guys - some top tips for buying her a fabulous present! Stop Worrying About Your Wedding! Beat those wedding-day nerves! Dating tips for MEN - The Secrets Of Her Body Language Are You Too Needy In Relationships? A Warning Call To The Lonely And Single Generation! The Secrets of Seduction Prevent an Affair! The Ten-Minute Window in Relationships Has Your Relationship Suffered Over Summer? Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Partner The Nine Signs of a Non-committer The Unique And Quirky Guide To Finding Love In The New Year! Why Do You Have Repeated Relationship Failures? Thoughts on Why Infidelity Is on the Rise Four Fabulous Steps To Improve Your Relationship! MEN: You behaved badly - what to do! Suspect He's Cheating? Seven Secrets of Successful Long-Distance Relationships Find Love For Valentine's Day! QUIZ: Is It Love or Is It Lust? How To Decipher Male- Versus Female-Speak QUIZ: Are You A Man's Woman Or A Woman's Woman? How Marriage Changes Through The Decades Relationship Guaranteed: 10 Little Tricks To Stay Together Marriage SOS – Seven steps to save your relationship! QUIZ: Are You Marrying For The Right Reasons? The Great Matchmaker Guide Prevent A Mid-Life Crisis In Your Marriage The Millisecond Marriages – Too Much, Too Soon! Money, Men And You Seven Secrets of Successful Long-Distance Relationships QUIZ: How Well Do You Know Your Man? QUIZ: How Likely Are You To Have An Affair? QUIZ: How Insecure Is Your Love? Could He Be A Natural-Born Cheat? Top Relationship Tips For Preventing Christmas Stress Some crucial tips to avoid money related arguments! The New Dating Dilemmas - And How To Cope With Them The Deal Breakers That Threaten Your Relationship QUIZ: Don't Ditch Your Relationship Too Soon! Warning - Divorce Is Dangerous To Your Health! The Fabulous Flirt Guide QUIZ: Great EX-pectations - Is Your Ex Jeopardising Your Relationship? QUIZ: Harness Those Wedding Day Doubts And Nerves QUIZ: Are You Still Haunted By The Ghost Of Your Ex? Beware - Your Broken Heart Should Come With A Health Warning! Heal Your Xmas Holiday Break-up! A QUICKIE FOR YOU: My top five tips for a long relationship Separated But Still Under The Same Roof! QUIZ: Are You Bored To Tears With Your Relationship? Couples: Be careful what you bicker about QUIZ: The Great Guide To Having A Second Go! Seven Ways to His Heart You Probably Haven't Thought Of! The Seven Deadly Signs Your Relationship Is In Trouble Six Signs Your First Date Could Signal Love! Find Love In A Few Weeks!