Pre-Wedding Jitters? Join the Crowd...

Pre-Wedding Jitters? Join the Crowd!  It's easy - and understandable - to worry about pre-wedding jitters that seem to strike out of the blue. Inwardly you wonder why you're feeling nervous. After all, you've been looking forward to getting married - right? Of course you want to marry him. Heck, even Kate Middleton probably wonders if William really is the Prince Charming for her happy-ever-after.

Thankfully in the majority of cases these jitters don't signify anything serious. Men, of course, experience them too but are much more likely to keep such worries to themselves. At least women tend to share them with their best friends and hopefully get much needed reassurance.

So why do women get these jangling nerves?

I find there are two main culprits responsible for most pre-wedding worries. First, it's easy to start over-analysing a stress-inducing situation. And no matter how happy your big day ends up, the run-up to a wedding is almost always stressful.

This means that getting stressed starts sapping your confidence and from there it's a downward spiral: the more stressed you feel, the more you doubt yourself and what you really want out of life.

The more doubt that develops then the more stress is heaped on, and so on. Left unchecked many brides end up with sleepless nights and even more jitters. They question things like is he right for me? Do I really love him? How am I going to feel in 10 years time? Once you've put such questions into perspective (see advice below) your anxieties start to fade.

Beware of the body-issues jitters –

The second main reason women start doubting they want to walk down the aisle is "sadly" about their size and shape. When, as a little girl, they’d dream about being a princess-for-the-day with all eyes on them, as a grown-up they suddenly they fear all eyes will be on any extra lumps and bumps - real or imagined.

I say this is a "sad" reason for pre-wedding jitters because quite frankly it is. Your guests and your groom will only notice your radiance and happy glow as you come down the aisle. Apart from a few catty types (and who cares about them!) no one notices whether or not you've gained weight - they've come to see your big day and want to share in your happiness.

Coping with your anxieties and jitters –

*Beginning with any issues around your size and shape start by getting practical - have your dress fitted when you're at a comfortable weight rather than having dieted down to something that’ll leave you feeling faint on the day.

*Resist last-minute dieting – you’ll only have to get your dress taken in and you will not look at your best on the day - gaunt and pinched isn't a good look!

*Put into perspective any worry over your size and shape - would your fiancé really want to marry you if you were all that horrible? Is your happiness together as a married couple going to revolve around your weight? Remind yourself on a daily basis that your relationship - and your big day - is all about loving and caring for each other, and sharing a happy life together.

*It's crucial to put any questions about whether you’re doing the right thing getting married into context. For starters no relationship is ever perfect and no two people fit together perfectly. Remind yourself that so much of what we see in films and on TV about relationships and romance are myths.

*Take a few minutes each day to relax and focus on the things you two share that make you happy. Maybe it's the way you two love to go clubbing and have a laugh, the friends you share, or something completely different. Don't lose sight of this!

*Now’s the perfect time to think about why you fell for him – his humour, kindness, the way he treats you, etc. Hold tight to the good reasons for you two to be together.

*If not getting on top of your anxieties definitely talk to a friend whose judgement you trust. No good talking to the ‘drama queen’ of your group who will blow things out of proportion! Sometimes offloading on a friend can work wonders.

*Finally if your concerns are growing to the point where you’re truly worried it's a good idea to very tactfully raised your concerns with your fiancé. You don't want your panic spread to him but you're going to be sharing your life with him and that means being able to talk about difficult issues.

Always begin by highlighting the positives between you and probe whether or not he's been feeling any jitters to get the conversation started. In most cases a couple finds this conversation reassures them both.

Good luck and congratulations!

A similar article was published on MSN UK


Did you find this article interesting?

Enter your details below to join the monthly mailing list.

Archive


Does your partner really know you? Check this out! How to get over that first awkward relationship bump... Going through a break up? Tips for an online clean up... Getting Together Again? Affair-Proof Your Relationship The Ultimate Christmas Relationship Survival Guide... Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day Nerves... Getting Together Again... Excuses at the Ready ... How to Re-light Your Fire - And Make the Second Time around a Success! Two People, But One-sided... Some thoughts on people with love Plan-Bs Passion Fatigue... How to Walk Away from an Unhappy Relationship... Subconscious Sabotage... Whatever Makes You Happy... Money does matter... Body Image Nightmare... Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day Nerves – Age-gap anxiety... Friends Connected at the Hip & Dating... Marriage SOS... Dating Again after a Breakup... Laughed straight between the sheets.... Too Good to be True... Beware the Mention of the Exes... Murder on the Dance Floor.... Lusting after Another Love... The Rise of the Plan B Pact... How Romance Can Be like Extracting Teeth... Credit Crunch Couples... Christmas time advice for struggling couples... Third-Party Interference... Opposites That Don't Attract... The Female Self-Destruct Button The Convenience of Compartments... Unlikely Apologies... Masculine Confidences The Chill Look of Contempt... He/She Isn't the Person That I Settled Down With.... Dating at a Distance... The Imperfect Perfectionists... Why He Doesn't Ring When He Says He Will... The Curse Of The Competitive Couples... It Seemed So Right, Now It’s So Wrong.... I married my mother... Never Under-estimate a GSOH... Don't Get Too Comfortable... Why Not Indulge Him? Bickering Versus A Good Old Barney.... Pre-Wedding Jitters? Join the Crowd... Do They Really Mean It? Never Underestimate The Power Of Affection And Touch ... The Facts About Flirtatious Behaviour... He Has A Nose Like Groucho Marx What Do We Lose When We Gain A New Lover? When your partner reflects on you... How to Get Things Started When You Meet Someone New Advice for struggling couples:... A Guide to Having A Happy Engagement ... Use the days between Xmas and New Year to recharge your relationship How to Get Back into the Dating Game Whose Chat-up Line Is It Anyway? 10 Steps to Overcome the Green Eyed Monster How Love Unrequited Links so Many of Our Hearts How to Breakup Amicably... Beware of the Love Pirates...Here is a warning about the lads who will capture your heart Love is in the air - seven signs that say he's attracted to you! The Best Dating Tips Ever... Whirlwind Weddings – Too Much, Too Soon! Adultery and betrayal, here are some things you might want to consider Does Your Relationship Need Resuscitation? Welcome to the crowd... Has Your Man Disappeared into His Communication ‘Cave’? When the Internet Comes between You Kissing tips that work! Bridge That Glaring Age Gap Try these love challenges (3) The Ultimate Couple's Communication Guide QUIZ: What's Your Love Profile? Try these love challenges (1) Understanding Men A Few Points About Some Male Personality Types - Try these love challenges (2) Become An Action Woman To Find Love Single Women - Personal Growth Try these love challenges (4) "Couple time" at the weekend is crucial! When you "down date" The key to looking interested not desperate when dating! Top speed dating tips! Couples - put your relationship through an MOT! Some top dating tips! More thoughts on first dates! First dates - some dos and don'ts! Beware - the problems with Internet dating! Dating "firsts" Finding love and fun on holiday! When You and Mr Right Want Different Things Relationship damage-limitation: quick fix communication tips - The three tell tale signs you aren't quite over your ex Some points about men who might give you "mad cow disease" A Few Thoughts on Successful Relationships Five Top Tips for Long Distance Relationships The Stages of Relationships A few top communication tips! Dating after a break-up Keeping positive when you want to start dating again! Notes on when to talk about BABIES - When He Pays Too Much Attention to TV, Computer Games or gadgets! Making Compromises or Being under Someone's Thumb? Some Thoughts on Adolescent Relationship Worries A Few Thoughts on Broken Hearts Are You Staying with Him or Her Because of Your Lifestyle? Some Questions And Things Men Wonder/Worry About From platonic relationship, to one night stand, to affair Do You Recognise Yourself in These Romantic Profiles? My Thoughts on Pre-Marital Counselling Dating tips for MEN - Surefire Ways and Where to Meet Women Dating tips for WOMEN - Love at First Sight Dating tips for WOMEN - The Wise Woman's Guide to The Art of Flirting Dating tips for WOMEN - What to Do When Things Go Wrong Dating tips for WOMEN - Capturing His Attention Dating tips for MEN - Don't Be a Romantic Loser Dating tips for MEN - Your First Date, First Phone Call and First Kiss An Affair Doesn't Necessarily Spell The End Nine Things You Should Never Say To Your New Love! Get Some Va Va Va-voom for Valentines! What Happened To The Innocence Of Valentine's? QUIZ: What Every Woman Who Wants To Marry Should Know! Christmas-proof Your Relationship For The Fraught Holiday Season! Why Mismatched Couples Should Beware! You Can Get Out Of An Abusive Or Violent Relationship! Just How Manly A Man Do You Want? Understanding The McCartney's War Of Words When They Divorced Toy Boys - The Latest Celebrity Girls’ Fashion Accessory What's the real meaning behind his Valentine's gift to you? Guys - some top tips for buying her a fabulous present! Stop Worrying About Your Wedding! Beat those wedding-day nerves! Dating tips for MEN - The Secrets Of Her Body Language Are You Too Needy In Relationships? A Warning Call To The Lonely And Single Generation! The Secrets of Seduction Prevent an Affair! The Ten-Minute Window in Relationships Has Your Relationship Suffered Over Summer? Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Partner The Nine Signs of a Non-committer The Unique And Quirky Guide To Finding Love In The New Year! Why Do You Have Repeated Relationship Failures? Thoughts on Why Infidelity Is on the Rise Four Fabulous Steps To Improve Your Relationship! MEN: You behaved badly - what to do! Suspect He's Cheating? Seven Secrets of Successful Long-Distance Relationships Find Love For Valentine's Day! QUIZ: Is It Love or Is It Lust? How To Decipher Male- Versus Female-Speak QUIZ: Are You A Man's Woman Or A Woman's Woman? How Marriage Changes Through The Decades Relationship Guaranteed: 10 Little Tricks To Stay Together Marriage SOS – Seven steps to save your relationship! QUIZ: Are You Marrying For The Right Reasons? The Great Matchmaker Guide Prevent A Mid-Life Crisis In Your Marriage The Millisecond Marriages – Too Much, Too Soon! Money, Men And You Seven Secrets of Successful Long-Distance Relationships QUIZ: How Well Do You Know Your Man? QUIZ: How Likely Are You To Have An Affair? QUIZ: How Insecure Is Your Love? Could He Be A Natural-Born Cheat? Top Relationship Tips For Preventing Christmas Stress Some crucial tips to avoid money related arguments! The New Dating Dilemmas - And How To Cope With Them The Deal Breakers That Threaten Your Relationship QUIZ: Don't Ditch Your Relationship Too Soon! Warning - Divorce Is Dangerous To Your Health! The Fabulous Flirt Guide QUIZ: Great EX-pectations - Is Your Ex Jeopardising Your Relationship? QUIZ: Harness Those Wedding Day Doubts And Nerves QUIZ: Are You Still Haunted By The Ghost Of Your Ex? Beware - Your Broken Heart Should Come With A Health Warning! Heal Your Xmas Holiday Break-up! A QUICKIE FOR YOU: My top five tips for a long relationship Separated But Still Under The Same Roof! QUIZ: Are You Bored To Tears With Your Relationship? Couples: Be careful what you bicker about QUIZ: The Great Guide To Having A Second Go! Seven Ways to His Heart You Probably Haven't Thought Of! The Seven Deadly Signs Your Relationship Is In Trouble Six Signs Your First Date Could Signal Love! Find Love In A Few Weeks!