QUIZ: How Smart Are You When It Comes To Sex?

How Smart Are You When It Comes To Sex?

I get loads of e-mails and letters asking me about all sorts of sex and relationship issues. So I thought I'd set you a quiz that will reveal how you think about sex. Forget your IQ - that's your intelligence quotient - instead I want you think about your SQ or sex quotient.

The SQ Quiz - The Sex Quotient Quiz

Find out your SQ. Your SQ will give you an idea of how smart you are when it comes to making sure both you and your partner are satisfied. Also whether you've got any negative attitudes towards sex.

Read each statement carefully. Circle the answer that suits how you feel MOST of the time.

1/ Being a good lover has nothing to do with how many times you've had sex

Yes or No

2/ Sex doesn't make you feel, e.g., uncomfortable, "dirty", or guilty                               

Yes or No

3/ You're happy to tell/show your partner what pleases you                                            

Yes or No

4/ You’ve explored your own body in private

Yes or No

5/ The fact that men masturbate doesn't take away from their partner

Yes or No

6/ if not in the mood for sex you’d be honest with your lover                   

Yes or No

7/ You’d want to be told if you're doing something “wrong” in bed                     

Yes or No

8/ You’d let a lover know if something wasn't working in bed

Yes or No

9/ You wouldn't be upset if a lover suggested something new    

Yes or No

10/ It's a fact that people have different levels of sex drive.                                 

Yes or No

11/ You might not think it's perfect but you accept your body

Yes or No

12/ Women should suggest new things to try in bed

Yes or No

13/ You’re happy to share fantasies with a lover                                      

Yes or No

14/ Romance is important to lovemaking  

Yes or No

15/ There's a place for things like "quickies" in a good sex-life

Yes or No

Please count your Yes answers: ­_____

The SQ Quiz Key

11-15 Yes answers = High SQ

Fantastic - you're smart when it comes to sex and a natural sex goddess! You understand that sex can be complicated and you need to be open and honest to nurture a good sexual relationship. Look closely at your No answers. Put your essentially positive attitude about sexual relationships to good work over these issues. You're smart enough to know that simply varying the time of day you have sex, the position, or the place, will heighten your enjoyment. You’re prepared to take a few risks and have sex in a hot steamy shower, outdoors, or give each other manual pleasure under your jackets while sitting innocently on a train! Get smarter and let your imagination run wild. There's always a new way to touch each other, give oral pleasure, or a new fantasy to describe to each other to get extra turned on.

6-10 Yes answers = Medium SQ

You’re smart about some aspects of your sex life, but not in others. You understand that sexual relationships and feelings are complex but  probably don't know how to express some of your feelings and desires. Or you may have a few inhibitions or lack some confidence that stops you telling your lover what you'd really like.  I'd like you to take each statement you answered No to, one at a time, and think through how you can develop more confidence in these areas. For example, maybe you're a bit shy about telling your lover what you want. A perfect way to lose inhibitions is to play "Strangers In the Night". Meet up at a new pub or club with your lover and pretend you don't know each other. Chat each other up and get really raunchy. Because you’re pretending you don't know each other, you can throw caution to the wind and try new things. Pull him out of bed and lean against the wall for the "Stand and Deliver" position. Or you can blow him away by doing "worship at the altar"! He stands up while you kneel between his legs to give him oral sex.

1-5 Yes answers = Low SQ

You need to get smarter when it comes to sex and may well have issues with self-confidence and communication that hold you back from truly enjoying it. Don't feel overwhelmed by the number of No answers. Instead start building your confidence generally so you're relationship improves over all. Next take small steps to start asking for what you'd like from your sexual partner. At the same time let him know you'd like him to tell you what he'd like in bed. Do this in a caring way and ask for love and reassurance. Agree that if you feel uncomfortable with anything you’ll let him know. He needs to respect this.

A great starting point to build your SQ and sexual confidence is to use simple but different types of touch and kissing. Not only can you kiss your lover, but you can gently flick, lap, suck, poke, and swirl with your tongue. With your fingertips you can stroke, pinch, swirl, and massage any of his erogenous zones. If you find it hard to say what you’d like, e.g., when it comes to touching/kissing you, than simply take his hand and suck his finger to demonstrate the sort of pressure you'd like him to use in kissing and sucking your nipples. Get rude with a little food that's fun for both of you. Spoon a little creamy chocolate mousse on to your nipples for him to lick off or around his genitals for you to enjoy. Learn to say No to things you don’t want to do I bed – that’s a confidence booster, too. A sexually smart woman knows a good man will wait till she’s ready and respect her.