QUIZ: How Insecure Is Your Love?

How Insecure Is Your Love?


Here's my quiz to determine your level of insecurity!


When the likes of Victoria Beckham's quoted in OK magazine saying she gets insecure over David, what hope is there for the rest of us? She has the wealth to look her best at all times and to jet around following David's work. She's proof that even someone you expect to feel secure doesn't necessarily do so.

Take my quiz to see how secure you are about relationships.

1/ How quickly do you tell a man you're falling in love?

A. Quickly - I'm always bursting to tell

B. Quite quickly, even before they do.

C. I take my time

2/ Are you always in a relationship or at least dating actively?

A. I'm never on my own

B. I've been single but prefer not to be

C. I've been happily single for various periods

3/ If your partner doesn't make a huge fuss of your birthday, do you -

A. Feel hurt beyond belief/have a strop

B. Feel quite hurt

C. So long as he's loving I'm happy with what he does

4/ How frequently do expect him to ring, text or e-mail?

A. Very frequently

B. Quite frequently

C. I know it'll vary with how busy he is

5/ When watching TV/DVD together, and an attractive woman's on screen, do you -

A. Get very upset

B. Feel a bit annoyed

C. Don't worry about it

6/ Do you worry you're not pretty, smart, "good" enough for him?

A. Very often

B. Sometimes

C. Hasn't crossed my mind

7/ Do you feel you must look perfect for your partner, e.g., no bad hair or make-up?

A. Always

B. Frequently

C. No, he should see the real me

8/ Do you take a partner's comments as biting criticism?

A. Yes, I take things the wrong way

B. Sometimes I do

C. No, I like honest and constructive comments

9/ When he's away how do you feel?

A. Alone, anxious, very unhappy

B. Not very happy

C. Fine, and use the time wisely for my own things

10/ Have you been dumped due to demanding, insecure behaviour?

A. Frequently

B. Occasionally

C. Never

Mainly As - Incredibly Insecure

Not only does your insecurity spoil your day-to-day happiness but it'll spoil your relationships! Your thoughts and feelings about "being good enough" for your partner or about them "leaving you for something better" mean you do things that jeopardise a relationship. For example, you ring a partner too much, or get in a strop when they don't pay enough attention, or when they "look" at someone else. Men will head for the hills if you don't change.

Follow these Six Steps To Security:

1/ If presently in a relationship let your partner know that from today you're going to be more aware of insecure behaviours. If not, think through the way you showed insecurity in your last relationship and pledge to yourself you won't do so in future. Make it your mantra!

2/ Next sit down and compile a full list of insecure feelings and behaviours dominating your relationships. For example, wanting to text your partner every few minutes to see what he's doing. Devise a "counter strategy" for each, e.g., instead of texting him send the text to yourself. You'll quickly see how those texts add up!

3/ Begin to build up your best points. Give yourself a pat on your back when you do something positive. Don't look to your partner to always compliment you, build you up, make you feel good - you need to do learn to do that!

4/ At a deeper, emotional level learn to switch on an inner, loving voice rather than a negative and insecure one. When that insecure one starts chattering away, stop it and talk to yourself in a soothing, loving way.

5/ Carve out some "alone time" in your diary. Those that are insecure often hate being on their own. Do some fun things in this time so you enjoy yourself.

6/ Insecure people often avoid challenges so on a weekly basis put yourself in a challenging situation. Prove to yourself you can meet the challenge.

Mainly Bs - Insecure Impulses

We might've caught your insecurity in time - before it spins out of control! You probably know when you're having a good day and feeling quite secure in your relationship and when you're having about day. Use the advice above that will help you banish your insecure impulses.

Mainly Cs - So Secure

You're secure and confident enough that you don't need constant reassurance and attention from your partner. You're prepared to show your love without "gushing" and frightening someone off. You realise the best relationships allow both people some space and independence. Hold onto your high level of security by making sure that any bad experiences don't knock it.

Finally, feelings of security come from within. They don't come from fame and fortune as Victoria Beckham's found. You'll never find it if you keep looking for it in a partner. Dig deep within yourself to find that little seed of self-belief and start to grow it!


Published in The Express Newspaper


Did you find this article interesting?

Enter your details below to join the monthly mailing list.


Does your partner really know you? Check this out! How to get over that first awkward relationship bump... Going through a break up? Tips for an online clean up... Getting Together Again? Affair-Proof Your Relationship The Ultimate Christmas Relationship Survival Guide... Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day Nerves... Getting Together Again... Excuses at the Ready ... How to Re-light Your Fire - And Make the Second Time around a Success! Two People, But One-sided... Some thoughts on people with love Plan-Bs Passion Fatigue... How to Walk Away from an Unhappy Relationship... Subconscious Sabotage... Whatever Makes You Happy... Money does matter... Body Image Nightmare... Understanding and Overcoming Your Pre-Wedding Jitters and On-the-day Nerves – Age-gap anxiety... Friends Connected at the Hip & Dating... Marriage SOS... Dating Again after a Breakup... Laughed straight between the sheets.... Too Good to be True... Beware the Mention of the Exes... Murder on the Dance Floor.... Lusting after Another Love... The Rise of the Plan B Pact... How Romance Can Be like Extracting Teeth... Credit Crunch Couples... Christmas time advice for struggling couples... Third-Party Interference... Opposites That Don't Attract... The Female Self-Destruct Button The Convenience of Compartments... Unlikely Apologies... Masculine Confidences The Chill Look of Contempt... He/She Isn't the Person That I Settled Down With.... Dating at a Distance... The Imperfect Perfectionists... Why He Doesn't Ring When He Says He Will... The Curse Of The Competitive Couples... It Seemed So Right, Now It’s So Wrong.... I married my mother... Never Under-estimate a GSOH... Don't Get Too Comfortable... Why Not Indulge Him? Bickering Versus A Good Old Barney.... Pre-Wedding Jitters? Join the Crowd... Do They Really Mean It? Never Underestimate The Power Of Affection And Touch ... The Facts About Flirtatious Behaviour... He Has A Nose Like Groucho Marx What Do We Lose When We Gain A New Lover? When your partner reflects on you... How to Get Things Started When You Meet Someone New Advice for struggling couples:... A Guide to Having A Happy Engagement ... Use the days between Xmas and New Year to recharge your relationship How to Get Back into the Dating Game Whose Chat-up Line Is It Anyway? 10 Steps to Overcome the Green Eyed Monster How Love Unrequited Links so Many of Our Hearts How to Breakup Amicably... Beware of the Love Pirates...Here is a warning about the lads who will capture your heart Love is in the air - seven signs that say he's attracted to you! The Best Dating Tips Ever... Whirlwind Weddings – Too Much, Too Soon! Adultery and betrayal, here are some things you might want to consider Does Your Relationship Need Resuscitation? Welcome to the crowd... Has Your Man Disappeared into His Communication ‘Cave’? When the Internet Comes between You Kissing tips that work! Bridge That Glaring Age Gap Try these love challenges (3) The Ultimate Couple's Communication Guide QUIZ: What's Your Love Profile? Try these love challenges (1) Understanding Men A Few Points About Some Male Personality Types - Try these love challenges (2) Become An Action Woman To Find Love Single Women - Personal Growth Try these love challenges (4) "Couple time" at the weekend is crucial! When you "down date" The key to looking interested not desperate when dating! Top speed dating tips! Couples - put your relationship through an MOT! Some top dating tips! More thoughts on first dates! First dates - some dos and don'ts! Beware - the problems with Internet dating! Dating "firsts" Finding love and fun on holiday! When You and Mr Right Want Different Things Relationship damage-limitation: quick fix communication tips - The three tell tale signs you aren't quite over your ex Some points about men who might give you "mad cow disease" A Few Thoughts on Successful Relationships Five Top Tips for Long Distance Relationships The Stages of Relationships A few top communication tips! Dating after a break-up Keeping positive when you want to start dating again! Notes on when to talk about BABIES - When He Pays Too Much Attention to TV, Computer Games or gadgets! Making Compromises or Being under Someone's Thumb? Some Thoughts on Adolescent Relationship Worries A Few Thoughts on Broken Hearts Are You Staying with Him or Her Because of Your Lifestyle? Some Questions And Things Men Wonder/Worry About From platonic relationship, to one night stand, to affair Do You Recognise Yourself in These Romantic Profiles? My Thoughts on Pre-Marital Counselling Dating tips for MEN - Surefire Ways and Where to Meet Women Dating tips for WOMEN - Love at First Sight Dating tips for WOMEN - The Wise Woman's Guide to The Art of Flirting Dating tips for WOMEN - What to Do When Things Go Wrong Dating tips for WOMEN - Capturing His Attention Dating tips for MEN - Don't Be a Romantic Loser Dating tips for MEN - Your First Date, First Phone Call and First Kiss An Affair Doesn't Necessarily Spell The End Nine Things You Should Never Say To Your New Love! Get Some Va Va Va-voom for Valentines! What Happened To The Innocence Of Valentine's? QUIZ: What Every Woman Who Wants To Marry Should Know! Christmas-proof Your Relationship For The Fraught Holiday Season! Why Mismatched Couples Should Beware! You Can Get Out Of An Abusive Or Violent Relationship! Just How Manly A Man Do You Want? Understanding The McCartney's War Of Words When They Divorced Toy Boys - The Latest Celebrity Girls’ Fashion Accessory What's the real meaning behind his Valentine's gift to you? Guys - some top tips for buying her a fabulous present! Stop Worrying About Your Wedding! Beat those wedding-day nerves! Dating tips for MEN - The Secrets Of Her Body Language Are You Too Needy In Relationships? A Warning Call To The Lonely And Single Generation! The Secrets of Seduction Prevent an Affair! The Ten-Minute Window in Relationships Has Your Relationship Suffered Over Summer? Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Partner The Nine Signs of a Non-committer The Unique And Quirky Guide To Finding Love In The New Year! Why Do You Have Repeated Relationship Failures? Thoughts on Why Infidelity Is on the Rise Four Fabulous Steps To Improve Your Relationship! MEN: You behaved badly - what to do! Suspect He's Cheating? Seven Secrets of Successful Long-Distance Relationships Find Love For Valentine's Day! QUIZ: Is It Love or Is It Lust? How To Decipher Male- Versus Female-Speak QUIZ: Are You A Man's Woman Or A Woman's Woman? How Marriage Changes Through The Decades Relationship Guaranteed: 10 Little Tricks To Stay Together Marriage SOS – Seven steps to save your relationship! QUIZ: Are You Marrying For The Right Reasons? The Great Matchmaker Guide Prevent A Mid-Life Crisis In Your Marriage The Millisecond Marriages – Too Much, Too Soon! Money, Men And You Seven Secrets of Successful Long-Distance Relationships QUIZ: How Well Do You Know Your Man? QUIZ: How Likely Are You To Have An Affair? QUIZ: How Insecure Is Your Love? Could He Be A Natural-Born Cheat? Top Relationship Tips For Preventing Christmas Stress Some crucial tips to avoid money related arguments! The New Dating Dilemmas - And How To Cope With Them The Deal Breakers That Threaten Your Relationship QUIZ: Don't Ditch Your Relationship Too Soon! Warning - Divorce Is Dangerous To Your Health! The Fabulous Flirt Guide QUIZ: Great EX-pectations - Is Your Ex Jeopardising Your Relationship? QUIZ: Harness Those Wedding Day Doubts And Nerves QUIZ: Are You Still Haunted By The Ghost Of Your Ex? Beware - Your Broken Heart Should Come With A Health Warning! Heal Your Xmas Holiday Break-up! A QUICKIE FOR YOU: My top five tips for a long relationship Separated But Still Under The Same Roof! QUIZ: Are You Bored To Tears With Your Relationship? Couples: Be careful what you bicker about QUIZ: The Great Guide To Having A Second Go! Seven Ways to His Heart You Probably Haven't Thought Of! The Seven Deadly Signs Your Relationship Is In Trouble Six Signs Your First Date Could Signal Love! Find Love In A Few Weeks!