Dr Pam Spurr

Dating tips for WOMEN - Capturing His Attention

Capturing His Attention and What Men Find Attractive  

First Date Musts

The Things You Say –

Although we often accuse men of not listening to us believe me they’re paying attention to what comes out of your lovely lips on a first date! And it's amazing the sorts of things men are happy to talk about or don't want to hear about.

Your ex –

Probably the biggest no-no on a first date is to mention your ex. Not only does it make the new ‘Mr Potential‘ think you’re still hung up on your ex (and he’d have good reason to think this) that he also might feel threatened by it. Yet it's so easy to forget this and end up talking about the last boyfriend and it happens to be one of the biggest culprits for turning a man off on the first date - I know because they tell me. Only ever mention your ex in passing if it’s absolutely relevant to the story.

Your weight –

No matter how fascinated you are by your weight - and perhaps your friends are too - he will not want to hear about what you will and won't eat, your diet, you weight gain, etc. It's the sort of ‘blah, blah, blah’ topic that man switch off from.

Settling down –

Whatever you do don't tell him that your goal in life is to meet a man and settle down. That smacks of desperation and that’s definitely not attractive. Even if it's true it's not the sort of thing you talk about on a first date.

Your best mate –

Another complaint I hear from men is about women who bang on and on about their best mate. My best mate this, my best mate that, etc. He'll begin to think that she's actually attached to you by some invisible string and will tire of stories about her very quickly.

Your period –

Well, that's a no-brainer! Even if it's your time of the month and you've got terrible cramps keep it to yourself.

Mind your language -

Next, think about how you say things. If you really fancy him and want him to fancy you back you can start ‘seducing’ his interest by choosing your words carefully. For example, if you've decided to have your date in a restaurant together and you want to say that you're enjoying your meal choose seductive words. Instead of, "This is a great place, my meal is nice," say something like, "what a wonderful place, my food is delicious." wonderful and delicious are far more seductive words and will stimulate his unconscious desire to you.

You can ratchet this up by throwing some keywords into the conversation as you touch his arm. The associate that keyword with the feeling with your touch. For example, when you’re digging in to dessert you could say, "this chocolate mousse is heavenly." As you say the word "heavenly" bridge your personal spaces by touching his forearm. He'll associate you with being heavenly - as I'm sure you are!

Three Key Things Men Love That Are Easy to Do -

Your appetite: Save picking at your meal like a little bird for your girlfriends. He'll love it if you have a good appetite. A good appetite for food signals to him a good appetite for other things.

Your views: Men find it really attractive when they ask a woman what she wants to do and she actually says what she wants to do. It's not rocket science. So many women become overly passive like little mice and say things like, "Oh, whatever you want to do." That puts the responsibility for your whole evening on him and he may not want that pressure. He'll fancy you much more if you speak your mind. Obviously use tact with things like giving your opinion.

A good laugh: Just as women love a sense of humour, so do men. Relax and have a good laugh if he tells a joke. Tell a few yourself. If something goes wrong during the date like knocking your drink over then say something self-deprecating rather than freaking out.

Published on MSN.co.UK