Dr Pam Spurr

Some Thoughts on Adolescent Relationship Worries

Some Thoughts on Adolescent Relationship Worries

… you fancy a lad mate (but he doesn’t fancy you)

How do you know he doesn't fancy you? Has he told you so? If so, see a little less of him and always make sure you've pals around when chilling out with him. If you don't know for sure, ask him out for a coffee. Let him know that if he doesn't fancy you, you still want to be mates.

… a lad mate fancies you (but the feeling isn’t mutual)

Be clear with him that you don't return his feelings. You can do this in a friendly way without being bitchy. And when you're in need of an ego-boost don't flirt with him just because you know you can. Certainly don't give him any false hope.

… your lad mate’s girfriend is getting jealous

Don't be possessive of him when she's around. Include her in all your conversations. If you two have "in jokes" that she won't understand, don't use them around her. And be friendly to her - she might end up a mate!

… your boyfriend’s jealous of your lad mates

He's got the problem and needs to learn to trust you. Don't be bullied into giving up your lad-mates. But don't wind him up by flirting with them or always talking about how cool they are. Ensure you have some time for just the two of you.

… you fancy each other but you’re frightened a relationship would wreck everything

Fear stops you living! Those who face fear are the happiest. Talk about it, take the plunge and take it slowly. Your fear might stop you from having a wonderful relationship. And if it's not so great you can always try going back to being friends.