Dr Pam Spurr

Some crucial tips to avoid money related arguments!

Some crucial tips to avoid money related arguments:

*Start to take the sting out of finance conversations by de-emotionalising your relationship to finances. It's no good getting hot-headed or upset over your financial differences - that only leads to arguments and impetuous decisions. So stop allowing emotions to control your feelings towards finance. Keep calm, and remind yourself to keep calm, throughout any conversations about money. If you must take 10 minutes to calm down if things start getting heated.

*Resist getting involved in chats about money if you know your partner is stressed. It's always better to leave it until they've had a moment to chill out, say, after a long day.

* Also if you only have five minutes to chat is no point in raising such a big topic like finance. Earmark a time in both your diaries to have a proper discussion.

*"Think in ink" and put down your incomings and outgoings on paper for both of you to see in black-and-white. Include all of your expenses so that you get a full picture of where your money goes. It's amazing what you can discover about potential savings or wastage as you look through these two categories.

*Get creative and challenge each other (in a good-natured and positive way) to come up with the most creative money-saving strategies.

*Always begin conversations that are potentially difficult about money but something positive by emphasising the strengths in your relationship. Telling your partner that you "know your love is so strong it can cope with anything," is a far better way than starting a conversation in a combative manner.

* Get creative about when you have your financial conversations and do a de-stressing gym class, salsa class, or anything that relaxes you, before you have those tricky conversations.

* Finally, make sure you’re both singing from the same hymn sheet when it comes to expectations about money. You might, say, be much more of a natural saver than your partner but unless you talk about these things openly they can cause problems or fester and lead to bigger arguments.