Dr Pam Spurr

Dating tips for MEN - Surefire Ways and Where to Meet Women

Surefire Ways and Where to Meet Women –

Are you a bit fed up trying to meet someone while out clubbing? You might love clubbing but it can be a bit demoralising - loads of people complain to me that they if they want to meet someone it's not the best environment. That's because if you want something more than just a bit of fun or a one night stand, lots of people you'll meet while clubbing aren’t after more than a little fun. Don't despair as there are so many other ways to meet someone special.

Taking And Making Opportunities

First let’s think about general opportunities to meet someone by chance. A little preparation can go a long way if you happen to have a spontaneous opportunity to meet someone. You never know when  in a lift at work, at a conference, in a pub, at your local grocery store, etc., someone will catch your eye. It's been shown that apart from either meeting someone at work, or being introduced to someone by friends, the main way you'll meet someone is spontaneously and unexpectedly.

Take control and enhance these spontaneous opportunities by being aware of who's around you. If you walk around listening to your iPod in a daze you might walk right past someone you might be attracted to. Also if you walk around looking tense you'll close yourself down (that body language again!) to a woman that would like to catch your eye.

How To Maximise Your Opportunities –

Keep a relaxed and confident posture wherever you go! You never know when you might be able to strike up a conversation with a gorgeous girl in a lift, at the gym, in your local shop, or evening class, etc.

Be ready to give good eye-contact. Like if you're sharing a lift at work with unattractive women - look at her and smile. If she responds with a smile then start a simple conversation – in other words ‘small talk’. There's everything to gain and nothing to lose with such an interaction.

Other ways to make opportunities include a few key strategies:

Become a Yes person and say Yes when someone spontaneously asks you for a coffee at your break or a drink after work.

Make sure you're the first to ask that new girl at work out for a coffee or drink.

‘Widen your circle of opportunity’ and check out new pubs, restaurants and clubs every week.

Break the mould - never ever rule out chatting up a woman just because she doesn't  appear to be your usual type. Your usual type hasn't worked so be open-minded!

What about trying new activities?

So you’ve been stuck going to the same pubs and nightclubs why not try these –

The gym and sports venues - you might think chatting up someone at the gym is a bit of a cliche but believe me there are many ‘sporting‘ success stories. I know from personal experience - I met a boyfriend at my gym when I was single. If you like sports events then you'll meet like-minded girls there too. Never rule out a simple smile across the football stand, the bar at a tennis court, etc.

Evening classes - don't get the wrong idea that evening classes it's not all dull people studying something boring! They are evening classes available for so many fun things. Check out the Yellow Pages and adult education and you'll be surprised what is on offer. Always be prepared to strike up a conversation with a like-minded woman about how long she's been interested in this subject, is this the first time she'd done a class in it, etc.

Singles events are not just for ‘saddos’ -there are so many singles events on offer you have no excuse not to try one out. I've helped to run a number of speed dating events and I'm always surprised at the calibre of people who come along - rarely a saddo in sight. And it doesn't have to be a singles event like speed dating - which some people might find daunting - because there are singles events at restaurants, for wine tasting, for the theatre, even rather chilled out and quirky singles events at places like supermarkets. A little research in your local paper or on the Net will tell you what’s available where you were.

Speaking of the Net there are lots of websites for singles. Some are for singles looking for love and others are aimed at people looking for a bit of fun. Internet dating has really taken off and again no longer signals that you’re somehow sad. Just take care if you decide to meet up with someone - make sure you tell a friend where you're going, meet them somewhere in public, preferably at lunchtime, and don't give out any personal information like your mobile phone number until you feel comfortable with them.

Published on MSN.co.uk