Dr Pam Spurr

Thoughts on Why Infidelity Is on the Rise

Thoughts on Why Infidelity Is on the Rise

Recent surveys suggest that infidelity is on the rise, why do you think this is happening?

Infidelity is on the rise for many various reasons. People seem to be taking a "pick and mix" approach to relationships nowadays. They dive in to relationships quite quickly and when things start go to go wrong they dive back out rather than trying to work things out. We also live in this instant gratification, 24-hour society where you can get what you want, when you want it. This leaves people thinking they should always be happy, right across their life, and if things are a bit dull and stale in their relationship than they look for quick thrills elsewhere. They also feel very tempted to stray when there’s so little emphasis put on trying to make your relationship a success. There are loads of opportunities to have flings as so many people work in environments where after-hours drinking is encouraged and many people travel for their work.

The research also points to more and more women having affairs, again, what do you think has prompted this?

Many women have taken on what we once considered the ‘male mentality’ when it came to fidelity. Women are earning good money and are also as likely to travel in their work as men do, and so face as much temptation. Many figure that if their man might do it, why shouldn't they? Also when faced with boredom or perhaps problems in their relationship they figure it won't hurt if they have a bit of a fling. Just as men have previously, women figure what someone doesn't know won't hurt them. Women have also been encouraged to take on a more traditionally masculine approach to life right across the board and so of course this influences the way they see sex.

Do you agree that people are less faithful today than in previous generations?

I believe that previous generations often didn't hear about infidelity when it happened because it was hushed up. People were much more likely to feel shame and embarrassment if a partner strayed. But there was less opportunity in previous generations as people have less disposable income and travelled less for their jobs. But also sex wasn't seen as a commodity by previous generations. On the whole marriage vows including being faithful were taken much more seriously. This means that undoubtedly there is more infidelity nowadays along with our generally more relaxed view of life and what people should and shouldn't do.