Dr Pam Spurr

Dating "firsts"

Dating "firsts" 

First kiss - Be confident about it, if she's giving you flirty signs she definitely wants a first kiss. Move in lowly - never lunge! At the very worst if she wasn't ready for a first kiss, if you've done it with confidence and gently she won't be offended.

First time back to yours - Don't try it on too quickly the minute she walks in your door. Surprise her and show her that "coffee" actually means coffee. She'll appreciate the difference between that approach and the one most women get when they first go over to his. Also it doesn't have to be immaculate but make sure your flat is presentable. It’ll definitely turn her off to see a mountain of dishes or dirty socks strewn everywhere.

First sober sex - She may feel just as nervous as you do. Again this is the time to take it slowly and don't rush! As you begin with a bit of sex-play keep asking her what feels good. The more you let her know that you're interested in giving her a fabulous time, the more relaxed she'll feel. That’ll make a better sober-sex experience for you both.

First meeting her mates - Remember gal-pals are quite protective of each other so your best behaviour is important. Show an interest in each of her mates not just the foxy ones! To take the inevitable spotlight that's going to be on you off f you, keep asking them the questions.

First holiday together - to make it a happy experience discuss well in advance what your expectations are. Does she want to lounge on the beach with a book when you want to learn to scuba? By sorting out your expectations beforehand you can compromise and make it the holiday of a lifetime.

First shopping trip together - Allow plenty of and fuelled with food and coffee so you don't flag. But if you truly hate shopping let her know beforehand not when you've arrived at a massive shopping mall. Let her know you're happy to shop for a maximum of two hours in this case and then stick to it. She needs to stick to it to!

First time she cries - don't be frightened it's only tears! The biggest mistake men make is going quiet because they don't know what to do. Put your arm around her and say simply that when she's ready to tell you what's wrong you'll be listening. A hug and just having your ear is a fantastic starting point for sorting it out.

First time she gets moody with you - don't perpetuate the cycle and get moody back. Best to tactfully but firmly say you know something's up and you want to get the bottom of it and you're prepared to wait until she wants to talk.

First time she says I love you - don't splutter something inane like, "gosh, how surprising." If you're not ready to tell her you love her back (because you're not sure if you do) tell her how good it is to hear and that you care for her very much. You can also say what it is that you like about her so much. Be specific! It's really her problem if she's embarrassed because you haven't reached the love stage yet but you don't have to add insult to injury.

Quotes for Men's Health