Dr Pam Spurr

Affair-Proof Your Relationship

Affair-Proof Your Relationship

Top tips to prevent temptation

The question on every woman's lips is can my partner stay faithful when a stunning woman like Stacey Giggs (article published in 2011) gets cheated on? Surely if a man can’t be true to a fabulous wife and mother - with a perfect figure - it's hard to believe any man can.

In an ideal world no one would cheat but staggering statistics show about 40% of men will cheat at some point in their life. Best not be complacent and remember no matter how stunning you are – looks don't matter when it comes to cheating - it can happen to anyone.

Reasons for straying vary from him grabbing a drunken opportunity, feeling neglected, or he’s a bit of a risk-taker by nature. But fear not, you can affair-proof your relationship:

*Neglect is a massive culprit. Yes, you want to catch up on Facebook and the children demand attention but never forget he needs attention too. It's crucial to carve out a little time together.

*Likewise let him know you need extra kisses/cuddles. Physical contact between you generates feel-good brain chemicals like oxytocin - making you feel loving around each other.

*Give him a copy of his fave photo of you from your early days - when he thought you were the hottest woman on earth. He can use it as his ‘wallpaper’ or keep it on his desk. Relationship research shows reminders of your early days can be a powerful tool to keep you together.

*Prevention doesn't need grand gestures. Simple daily gestures will do. Give him a compliment, send loving e-mails - it only takes seconds and you'll find he repays the favour. That's good for both of you!

*Your "flirt factor" is crucial. Even if you’d given up flirting start doing so. When you chat during the day flirt about his good looks and what you'd like to ‘do’ to him. Freshen up your make-up when you meet after work - like when you were first together.

*Avoid the “sweeping-it-under-the-carpet syndrome - where you ignore problems. That’s almost guaranteed to put up barriers and when those come up it's easier for him to stray. When something niggles sort it out in a caring and constructive way. Encourage him to do the same.

*Laughter’s one of the best medicines for romance. Finding things to giggle about definitely connects you two. It's easy to get bogged down in daily stresses so beware if the laughter starts to leave your relationship – get it back.

*You shouldn't feel the pressure to swing from chandeliers but definitely carve out some between-the-sheets time. Occasionally read through a sex guide for ideas or pop into a high-street adult shop together to browse things to liven-up your sex life.

*Finally, remember the "honey principle" - if you’re always moaning and dressed in old trackie bottoms, you can bet that flirty colleague holds far more appeal. Particularly if he’s inclined to cheat (and you might've ended up with a man like that) he'll start preferring her company. Greet him with a loving kiss and pleasant chat and you're like honey to a bee.

 A similar article was published in the Sun newspaper