Dr Pam Spurr

Keeping positive when you want to start dating again!

Keeping positive when you want to start dating again! 

• Ø Every day do something new to prove to yourself that you can do what you set your mind to. Smile at someone new, sit with someone new at your lunch break, and find somewhere new to visit.
• Ø Stop that negative voice in your head! Each time you have a negative thought, e.g., "no one's going to be attracted to me!" substitute a positive thought instead like, "I've got loads to offer!"
• Ø Find your lucky mascot - someone you admire. Carry a photo of your mascot around with you and each time you look at it remind yourself you can be that way too.
• Ø Learn to love your inner self by nurturing your inner child. Choose a favourite photograph from when you were a child, study it, and tell yourself how much that little child deserves happiness. Remind yourself of this when you’re feeling anxious - it's that little child inside who needs a hug.
• Ø Look in the mirror and watch yourself move, then improve on your body language. Maybe you need to pull your posture up, stop fiddling with your hands or hair, or just give good eye contact.
• Ø Practise flirting! Flirting is fun and if you feel too shy to try it then use the mirror to practise some flirtatious moves like stroking your hair sensually.
• Ø Create comfort zone around self before a date! If arrive stressed men will pick up this negative vibe. Ensure you have plenty of time to relax before the date with your outfit prepared, do a little gentle stretching or yoga to loosen your body language, talk self out of neg ative thoughts, remind yourself of your mascot and how you can be like her, and get ready to have fun!