Stop Worrying About Your Wedding! Beat those wedding-day nerves!

Stop Worrying About Your Wedding!

Here I advise brides-to-be how to beat those wedding-day nerves

 You're heading for one of the most wonderful days of your life - your wedding - so why do you feel so frazzled? I find there are three main culprits that cause stress for brides-to-be:

1/ Sky-High Expectations - their expectations are far too high that everything has to be perfect on their big day. What brides lose sight of is the fact that their guests simply won't notice whether a particular detail is out of place or something is missing.

2/ Miscommunication - they get stressed out with their fiance because of lack of clear communication. Brides-to-be forget that men don't take in detailed instructions the way that we women do. You need to clearly spell out what his duties are in the run-up to the wedding. Put his duties in list-form in a special note pad where he can tick things off as they're done. Check it once a week at a designated time. Put this in your diaries so that you both know when you're doing your weekly check. Also talk with him about keeping things as simple as possible. Not only will it save you money but it will save you both stress.

3/ Disorganisation And Lack Of Delegation - brides get swept away with plans and start to feel it all falls on their shoulders when they should be delegating to their bridesmaids as well as parents and other family members. Get organised and give each person set responsibilities. They should each report to the bride when these things are done as the bride keeps the master list.

How To Keep Calm In The Run-Up To The Wedding -

You And Him: when it comes to you and your fiance, you both need to keep more of that love-vibe going! I come across plenty of couples that are arguing right up to their wedding day.

Try these tips -

Don't always talk about the wedding. This can get boring (particularly for him) and also wind you both up. Remember there are other things in your lives beside your wedding day to talk about.

Keep the romance going. Maybe it was your childhood dream to have a big white wedding and be treated like a princess for the day. It's easy to get focused on that one thing and forget that your relationship right now needs nurturing. Do those little romantic things you did early on in your relationship like sending him flirty texts and surprising him with little gifts.

If you have a disagreement about the wedding (or anything else for that matter) learn not to go off in a huff. Instead take a little time to calm down and then try to reach a compromise.

Let him know if the wedding plans are getting on top of you. They may be getting on top of him too but he's frightened to say anything!

You Alone:

Book into your diary some "me time" each week in the build-up to the wedding. Make it something you enjoy like having a massage or going to your favourite exercise class. Don't let "wedding stuff" crowd out this important time.

Take up a daily relaxation technique where for 10 minutes you lie back (perhaps with cucumber slices or cooled teabags on your eyes) and just chill-out. Don't let your mind run over and over wedding details but instead focus on a nice, soothing memory.

Boost your confidence by doing a regular visualisation of you walking up the aisle looking radiant, calm and happy. Sportsmen do this with great success. For example, a footballer will imagine scoring a perfect goal. By practising this regularly you'll be able to call this visualisation to mind as you begin to walk up the aisle.

Practice a daily mantra that you can use on your wedding day, too. It should consist of a calming phrase that works for you. For example, "My fiance and I love each other and nothing is more important than that."

Devise a healthy diet and gentle exercise plan that will keep you fit and well in the run-up to the big day. Crash diets won't do - they make your skin and hair look terrible! They don't work so it's best to simply eat well and look after yourself to look your best. This will also boost your confidence.

Enlist a crisis buddy - your maid of honour or best friend - that you can ring when nerves get on top of you. They should be someone who is good at talking you down from being worked up.

Well before the big day have everything booked into your diary that you need like your hair and manicure, etc.

The Night Before The Big Day

Things should be pretty much sorted by-now but if something is not ready or hasn't been done ask yourself this: "Is this really going to matter to my big day? Is this worth me getting stressed over?"

If you have a rehearsal dinner book it at a fairly early time so you can get a good night's sleep.

Go through the schedule for the wedding day, e.g., who's doing what and when, including checking things like the times for the bridesmaids to arrive and when people are getting their hair done, etc.

Lay out everything you need for the big day the night before so you're not rushing around looking for things.

The best way to do this is to have a good sleep routine planned. Have some camomile tea and sip it slowly in a relaxing bath that has a little lavender aromatherapy oil in it. This is very relaxing.

Plan to watch a romantic comedy (definitely not a thriller as that gets the heart rate going which doesn't help you sleep!) that will relax you before you go to bed. If any of your bridesmaids or maid of honour are staying over at yours then pre-agree with them the time you want to be in bed relaxing. You don't want to feel obligated to stay up late chatting to them.

Have a last chat with your mum or the person who relaxes you most before you go to bed.

Repeat your soothing mantra to yourself!

The Big Day

It's always better to set your alarm 15 minutes early and not be rushing when it comes to doing things like your hair and make-up.

You should have some healthy things in your fridge for a healthy breakfast to set you up for the day.

As you showering and getting ready keep a check that your breathing is calm and don't let it get out of control - that increases anxiety.

Always let your mum, or maid of honour, or someone that's close at hand, know if you need a pep-talk because of any nerve that have crept up.

If you get an attack of nerves, sit down and bring to mind your visualisation of your wonderful memory, and repeat your mantra to yourself. You only need a couple minutes to calm yourself so it's not a waste of time!

Don't fret if something doesn't go to plan. Your guests will definitely not notice! Instead remember it will make a great story to tell your children and grandchildren!

Make sure your maid of honour looks after you at the reception - things like ensuring that your plate gets filled and you actually eat - many brides end up feeling faint from having chatted to so many guests that they never actually eat.

Space your alcoholic drinks. You want to remember the day after all!

Finally, this is your chance to shine and have fun of. If you fret and worry a way that day you will only end up kicking yourself. Let go of little things they go wrong. Remind yourself why you getting married - because you're in love and not because this is an adventure show off to your friends!

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