Dr Pam Spurr

Try these love challenges (2)

Get to grips with these love challenges and you'll take positive steps towards being able to understand and relate to men.

Love Fitness Challenge A:

Visit a bar, pub or restaurant (you can take a friend) specifically for the purpose of observing singles and couples interacting. Notice what singles do to attract each other. What signs does a man give out that he's interested in a woman? And what signs are the women giving? When observing couples, do they strike you as being in love? Newly dating? Or tense, awkward or stressed in each other's company? Now make a note of the interactions, signs and signals that you think are positive ones and those which you think are negative. Why do they strike you in these ways?

Why do this love challenge?

Because from your observations you can make a mental note of how to improve the way you read the signs and signals men give to you and the ones you give out to them!

Love Fitness Challenge B:

Go on a "practise" date with the brother of a friend, a trusted male colleague, a male cousin, etc. Any neutral man will do. In advance explain to them what it's all about - that you'd like to practise conversation and flirting techniques and you want their honest feedback. Use them as a trial run. Talk through with them everything from your outfit, your body language and your flirt-skills, to what they're looking for, what they’re friends are looking for, what they think about modern dating, what signs and signals they look for.

Why do this love challenge?

Because neutral men are fantastic sources of information! It’ll be good fun, you might learn loads about men and also yourself.

Love Fitness Challenge C:

Time for some “practise” flirting. Whether you decide to boost your postman's day, lift your local newsagent’s mood, or put a smile on the face of the man on the butcher's counter in your local supermarket, try a little friendly flirting. Soften your voice, relax your body language, smile and make light conversation. Ask them something obvious that's transformed into a bit of flirting with a glint in your eye.

Why do this love challenge?

Because as with any skill you need to practise and develop your Flirt Skills. You also need to continually take yourself out of your comfort zone. Done in a harmless and fun way rather then a lascivious manner, the postman, newsagent or butcher will simply think you're in a happy mood.