Dr Pam Spurr

MEN: You behaved badly - what to do!

MEN: You behaved badly at Christmas - what to do!

You've slept with a junior colleague and you do not want to take things further?

* First off, particularly with a junior colleague, do not avoid the subject. You risk upsetting or offending them if you pretend it didn't happen. That’s when they’ll slap on a sexual harassment suit! Approach them in a confident and friendly manner. Ask them if there's a convenient time for them to speak to you. By being polite and respectful you immediately put the situation on a better footing.

* Arrange to meet up with them somewhere professional and on neutral ground like a conference-room unless they’re happy to meet in either your or their office. It's best (and sensible!) if there's any question marks over your sexual encounter not to meet up somewhere as informal as a bar for a drink after work.

* Be straightforward and tell them you’d like to know how they’re feeling. Never make an assumption about what a colleague (junior or otherwise) is feeling/thinking when it comes to having had sex with you. You get on dangerous territory if you start a conversation with, "I'm so sorry it happened." They might find that offensive if they're happy it happened!

* Once you've established how they're feeling you can take it from there. If your company forbids relationships between colleagues then acknowledge that as the senior colleague it was your responsibility for the tryst and that you'll be on better behaviour in future.

You've slept with a female boss and don't want her to sack you/make life difficult for you?

* If she doesn't approach you about the situation then have the confidence to approach her. She’ll immediately have more respect for you if you demonstrate that you'd like to get things back on a regular footing.

* That said, keep it casual if you have to make the move. Don't blow it out of proportion instead you can simply say that you hope you're working relationship will stay the same.

* Again it's important not to make judgements about how she's feeling but just be tactful, keep it brief, and you'll know if she wants further discussion or not.

You made a pass at the wife of a colleague/boss?

* Oh dear, you have been a bad boy! You thoroughly deserve something unpleasant happening to you! But we won’t let that happen. If you're lucky you won't see her for a long time - maybe not until the next Christmas party. If you do run into her don't make a big deal out of it. Smile pleasantly, and be utterly professional. Keep the conversation brief then excuse your self and hope she won't tell her husband!

Quotes given to Men's Health website