Dr Pam Spurr

QUIZ: What Every Woman Who Wants To Marry Should Know!

What Every Woman Who Wants To Marry Should Know!

Here's the low down on getting married

You may not be interested in marriage and think getting married is something old-fashioned. That's all well and good and you should never feel pressured to marry. But if you happen to be the "marrying type" you need to arm yourself with the right knowledge that’ll help you successfully get that potential Mr. Right down the aisle. 

"Oh that's easy," you might think, "I don't need any tricks up my sleeve or to play any games!" You're absolutely right - you shouldn't play games - but relationship research over the last few years has thrown up some interesting things. When it comes to him, his attitudes about getting married, and whether your marriage will be a success, you should be aware of these facts.

First take my quick quiz to find out your level of MQ - that Marrying Quotient. Answer honestly!

1/ Do you think there’s an ideal time in which he should propose to you?

A/ No, I don't think there is a propose-by-date

B/ Yes, after a couple years you both should know if it's the right thing

2/ Do you think it's best to live together before you think about marrying?

A/ Yes, definitely, you need to get to know each other's little ways

B/ No, I don't think that's necessarily important

3/ If you live together first are you less likely to break-up as it shows you’re really committed to each other and don't need a “piece of paper”?

A/ Yes, that's probably true

B/ No, I think living together probably shows you're not completely committed

4/ Will your relationship be more likely to succeed if you or he have just got divorced from your first partners?

A/ Yes, because it's like riding a horse - you need to get straight back on

B/ No, because we might be carrying extra emotional baggage

5/ If one or both of you have children from your previous relationship, does your relationship have a better chance of succeeding?

A/ Yes, probably because we'll both understand the demands of children

B/ No, probably not as our children will cause excess stress

4-5 A answers: Low MQ

Uh oh, you've got a low marrying quotient which can spell danger for your relationships if you hope to get married one day. Read through the facts about relationships and marrying below so that you can understand where you might go wrong.

2-3 A answers: Medium MQ

There's definite hope for you as you've got a moderate marrying quotient. Check through the facts below to get you on the right track.

0-1 A answers: High MQ

Well done, you've got a high marrying quotient that’ll serve you well in looking for lasting love. Still there’s no harm in reading through the facts below.

Marriage Fact 1: There IS a golden window of opportunity

A "golden" window of opportunity exists for the optimal time for a man to propose. This is between 18 months and three years. Relationship research shows that this period of time is perfect to get to know each other and fall in love. After that timeframe, if he's not discussed marriage or proposed, then he's probably not as committed as you'd like him to be. Plus after the three-year period, if down the line you eventually get married, your marriage is more likely to end in divorce than those who decide to marry in that golden window.

 Making the decision to married before 18 months is classified as a whirlwind marriage and that also has a lower success rate.

 Marriage Fact 2: It's best not to live together before marriage

Deciding you need to "test the water" first by cohabiting before thinking about marriage doesn't necessarily lead to marriage. Many men go into living together with the view that it's a practical decision. With that attitude they’re often on the look-out for reasons why you shouldn't make things permanent by getting marriage. Discovering your "little ways" – and arguing about them - gives them a perfect excuse.

Marriage Fact 3: Cohabiting first means you're more likely to divorce

Statistics show that those who cohabit before getting married are more likely to go on to divorce. This might be due to one or both not being fully committed to the relationship, but once living together they feel pressure to marry. As their heart wasn't in it to begin with, they’re more likely to divorce.

Marriage Fact 4: Post- divorce relationships are more likely to fail

The first relationship a person has after their divorce only has a mere 10% chance of success. That's because this relationship is usually a rebound one. This is where the person goes into it seeking comfort for their broken heart. They have too much emotional baggage, and are emotionally insecure, making this a complicated relationship.

Marriage Fact 5: Stepfamilies divorce at twice the rate

If either of you have children from a previous relationship/marriage, then if you marry, you’re twice as likely to divorce. That's because with the best will in the world becoming a step-parent is difficult and causes extra stress in your new relationship.

Published in the Express Newspaper