Dr Pam Spurr

Beware of the Love Pirates...Here is a warning about the lads who will capture your heart

Beware of the Love Pirates...Here's a warning about the lads who'll capture your heart…then leave you behind.

Have you been caught out by a Love Pirate? He made you think he was falling in love then cut you dead? I've seen this love-phenomenon frequently. It's time you wised up to this type of guy. He not only collects notches on his bed post having got you between the sheets, but loves to make you fall in love with him when he won't return it!

Is your new man a Love Pirate?

The Love Pirate Checklist - how many boxes does he tick?

1/ He's bombarded me with flirtatious texts from the start                         YES                  NO

2/ He hints he’s in love with me but doesn't actually say it               YES                  NO

3/ He gives me OTT compliments that I know aren't true                YES                  NO

4/ He’s a bit evasive about what he’s up to, when we’re not together YES              NO

5/ Right from the start he's talked about "our future"                      YES                  NO

6/Straight off he's wanted to see me every spare minute                YES                  NO

7/ He always talk about me and my feelings - and not his                YES                  NO

8/ He completely focuses on me but changes focus very quickly, like if his mobile rings

YES                  NO

6-8 YES Answers - A Proper Blue Beard

He might be the one-in-a-million who’s genuinely fallen head over heels straight away. BUT just in case he isn't, be on your guard. Until now you've been bamboozled by his Love Pirate-speak - after all, the attention he's heaped on you is so different to what most lads give at first. Do the following particularly if you answered YES to questions 3, 4, 7, and 8:

• Don't give your heart completely until you really know him.
• Only go to bed with him if you’re happy with a purely sexual fling - you won't be disappointed if he dumps you.
• Start digging - get to know more about him.
• Don't allow him to keep turning conversations back to you.
• Go out with his mates - you can tell loads from his behaviour around them, like if he's less affectionate to you.
• Pull him up when he implies he’s falling in love - ask what he really means.
• Make sure you get ‘round his - is it a proper Pirate’s pulling-pad?
• Watch out if he says he's been hurt badly. Love Piracy usually develops from two things: he's had his feelings crushed, he’s now frightened of emotional intimacy, and determined to "pay back" all women. Or he's narcissistic and loves the idea of falling in love - because it makes him feel good - but he's actually not good at giving genuine love.

3-5 YES Answers - Blue Beard’s Mate

He may not be a full-blown Love Pirate but watch out for any behaviour that causes concern and use the advice above.

1-2 YES Answers – Occasional Plunderer

You might have a great guy who’s keen and not a Love Pirate. It's still a good idea to read the advice above.