Dr Pam Spurr

Relationship damage-limitation: quick fix communication tips -

Relationship damage-limitation: whether you're actually breaking up or making a last ditch effort to save your relationship, try these quick fix communication tips -

*Choose a moment when you both calm to talk

*Switch-off mobiles, etc., to prevent interruptions

*Agree 1-2 goals to discuss not all 10 issues you disagree over!

*Give each other two minutes uninterrupted talking time - use an egg timer if needs be

*Begin with a positive even if to identify one instance where, e.g., you haven't argued over this particular issue

*Use "I statements" beginning with "I feel x, y, z" as this personalises what you're saying

*Accept responsibility for your part in the issue - problems are really 100 per cent one of the partner's faults

*Agree if things start getting heated you'll stop, take a breather, and try from a different tack discussing the issue

*Put yourself in the other’s shoes and try to describe what they've said to you, to see that you've understood them correctly

*Tell them why you fell for them in the first place – always a winner to remind yourself of this!