Dr Pam Spurr

Some Questions And Things Men Wonder/Worry About

Some Questions And Things Men Wonder/Worry About

Why do we reach our sexual peak before women?

 The main reason why men reach their sexual peak earlier is due to the origin of their physical function and ability. Our ancient ancestors life-spans were less than half of ours and so men needed to perform at a young and vigorous age for successful mating. Just because advances in medicine have hugely increased our life-span over the last 150 years, this doesn't mean that men function physically for a longer period of time in direct proportion to the longer life-span. Women of course are affected by all sorts of physical constraints on their sex drive however they don't have the issue of having to maintain an erection, etc., for full sexual enjoyment.

Why does our sexual appetite decrease with age?

There are many reasons why men's sexual appetites decrease with age - first off every single sense is blunted. For example eyesight gets dimmed, smell gets dulled and this sensation of touch and taste also get affected. Add to this the fact that you're circulation slows down and you have less energy all impact on sex drive. A man may also be on medication for different illnesses that diminish his drive as well as coming to a point in a relationship where it may be more platonic than passionate.

Why don’t we notice when she has had her hair done or bought some new shoes?

Men are very goal orientated and traditionally pay less attention to detail than overall purpose. When a guy sees his girlfriend the purpose is to have fun and if he's lucky get his rocks off. It's not to compare fashion notes and to notice the little details of her life. This is the opposite to women who love to be noticed - little details and all - and will also notice things on her man like a new hairstyle or shoes. Even if his ‘new hairstyle’ has simply come from throwing a sweatshirt on and leaving it messed-up - she doesn't know she just sees it’s new!

Why are we so competitive?

Again looking at your genes - not in them! - men (and women) are deeply driven to compete in all ways in the environment. Once upon a time this was all about basic survival - in life and death situation. Now it’s about surviving at the best possible level in life which means competing in all aspects of life: earn more, eat well, go to nice places, excel at work and sport, where nice clothes and have the best possible partner.

Why do men swear? Is it to relieve stress?

Every man is different when it comes to swearing. Some swear all the time because they simply don't know how to express themselves in a more articulate fashion. Others swear simply to sound "blokey". Some men use swearing to emphasise a point and get a reaction. Swearing can also be a "male-territory" issue - with certain types of swearing they keep women out of a conversation or at a distance.

Why do we tell dirty jokes?  

Telling dirty jokes is all about male-bonding and staying connected to youthful male exuberance. Face it, the guy who comes up with the next great dirty joke and circulates it to his pals is seen as cool. The better you are at telling jokes the more admiration you receive from other men. Again it's about putting a boundary round men-only parts of your life. It separates "us from them "where you don't think women will get the joke.

Why do we like to look after women?

Men like to look after women because it gives them a sense of power and superiority. It's a big ego boost to think a woman's dependent on you. Lots of women play the game but I can assure you they control a lot of what’s going on – if not most!