Calling all singles: What goes on in the minds of players?
My new column for Wingman dating app…
If not hundred percent, then nearly a hundred percent of people who have ever been on the dating scene have come across a so-called player. That person who often hones in on someone who already has a partner as evidently Nathalia has in Love Island. Or other common behaviours we see in players include blowing hot and cold, being unreliable, and checking out other people behind your back.
The three most common reasons people become players:
1/ Many players are often deeply insecure. They muck people around to try and build their own confidence. They might have been hurt in the past and by toying with people’s emotions they hurt others is a type of revenge.
2/ Many players often scared of intimacy. By playing around it protects them from never getting emotionally close to someone even if they get sexually close to them.
3/ Some players are naturally cruel people. They may fall on the sociopathic scale where they lack empathy for others. They might also lack remorse for treating others badly.
Those are powerful reasons to stay away from players although often people are drawn to them. It can feel quite exciting and exhilarating as you wonder if you will be ‘the one’ they choose!
What’s interesting is the fine line between what many people in the middle ground consider ‘playing’.
The stats show a number of interesting things:
*1 in 10 thinking sexting was `just a bit of fun',
*However including suggestive photos were considered by the majority, 62%, to be unacceptable.
*A third of those who admit to sexting someone other than the person they’re dating, said it led on to more compromising suggestions like meeting up,
*57% of people over the age of 35 think having dinner with someone other than the person you’re dating is crossing the line.
*45 per cent of people in this age group think that regularly texting someone you have an emotional connection with is actually cheating.
It’s up to every single person whether or not they want to play around with a player. Simply don’t go into it hoping you will be ‘the one’ they change their ways for. Having a bit of fun is completely different but you’re bound to get hurt if you’re waiting for them to change.
Check out Dr Pam’s art gallery and shop for gift ideas, fantastic for a loved one: https://drpam.co.uk/art.php
You don't want a player to do this to your heart...