The new rules of dating...
Over the weekend in the Sun newspaper I wrote a piece with my top 10 dating tips taking account of online dating and flirting.
Things have really changed in the last decade - and my piece was based on author Helen Fielding's comments about the new Bridget Jones generation having it even harder than when she originally wrote her book.
She's right and below I've pasted the unedited version of my 10 tips that appeared in the newspaper - I'll post a link once it goes up on their website... happy dating, Pamx
10 New Dating Dos and Don'ts for the Modern Bridget Jones
Relationship expert Dr. Pam Spurr
1/ Do prepare for some disappointment with online dating - research shows compared to women men lie every bit as much, and probably more, in their online profiles. ‘Date-downsize’ everything he says by at least 10% - he'll be 10% shorter, have 10% less hair and be 10% less funny.
2/ Do feel free to message him for a casual, not-really-a-first-date, meet-up. It's a fantastic way to signal you're attracted without feeling like you're chasing him.
3/ Don't message him publicly, like on twitter, for a date unless you have rock-solid confidence and can laugh off the stream of tweets you'll get. Because once he replies publicly some of his followers are bound to tweet you jokey things - a speedy reminder of how many jokers there are online and you're the joke!
4/ Do go by the ‘rule of three’ before publicly flirting with him unless of course you met by flirting on, e.g., twitter. You've had three good meet-ups and it's obvious you're attracted to each other. Otherwise he assumes he has you around his little finger plus if it doesn't work out other men might’ve seen you flirting and think you're taken.
5/ Do put your best foot forward on your dating profile without lying! Make it stand out by thinking how your best friend would describe you - in a positive light, mentioning your unique personality traits.
6/ Do be choosy with your ‘likes’ on his Facebook wall as too many makes it look like you're desperate. Treat your ‘likes’ as if you’re making a ‘move’ - you wouldn't be the one constantly making the moves on him, would you?
7/ Do boost your body-confidence before online dating. I hear from many women demoralised from trawling dating sites thinking every other woman looks more attractive in her profile. Focus now on your three best qualities that have nothing to do with your looks.
8/ Do have a life online outside of your search for Mr. Potential - post the interesting, fun things you do, get involved in online discussions, etc. When he comes across you he'll see how much you've got going on.
9/ Do clean up your, e.g., Tumblr pictures. It's easy to forget that photo of you snogging the best man when you were a bridesmaid at your best friend’s wedding. Our memory has a ‘denial button’ for such things once they're posted.
10/ Don't rush to change your, e.g., Facebook status without discussing it with him. I hear of toe-curling stories of disappointment - she thought they were in a relationship, changed her FB status only to have him freak out.
Keep safe when you meet with someone you've met online - your best friend/mum should know where you're going and who you're meeting.