Obsessed with his ex, breaking up and kissing...
Today on my iVillage.co.uk blog I've written about a woman in love with a man - pretty common to fall in love - but he's in love with his ex. And he's completely honest about it! My thoughts are: why play second best to an ex? Or stick with a man who is blatantly obsessed with sex.
In fact I've come across a fair few interesting dilemmas this week - yesterday on my weekly slot on Dublin News talk radio (which is now 10 AM and not 11 AM on Tuesdays) one woman got in touch who had been going out with a man for nine months. He has just been diagnosed with a grave disease that's going to leave him wheelchair-bound. She said she felt 'shallow' because she'd already been thinking that their relationship wasn't working - and now she fears breaking up with him when he's at his most vulnerable. She's dreading the speaking to him.
Ultimately you should never stay with someone because you think it's a gesture of mercy. Even someone with a terrible disease, that'll erode their neurological system, needs to feel loved from an honest and genuine place - not because someone pities them.
I felt she should offer her firm and strong friendship to him - and really help and support him as a friend but. Yup, I warned her that there may be difficult repercussions initially - he may feel angry, vulnerable and needy - but ultimately he would want her honesty.
TODAY’S THOUGHT: the conversations we most dread often end up with the best result - real honesty and understanding. I know that horrible sinking feeling - where your stomach feels like it's rising into your throat - as you approach such a conversation. But looking back over such experiences I know the actual good that comes out of the storm. So if you're facing a difficult conversation with someone - be brave.
After work I was heading out for cocktails and dinner with an old friend - a much-needed mid-week night out. But now a family member's ill so I'm NOT going to be Dr Pam tonight - I'm going to be Nurse Pam!
Did you see the pix of Simon Cowell's kiss beamed around the world? He was on the Jay Leno show and it was a bad, bad idea for someone as self-conscious as Simon to kiss his fiance in public. His eyes scanned the audience for their reactions. He was obviously more concerned with what people thought of him then kissing his beautiful looking fiance.
Give someone a lovely kiss today - and mean it! Pam X