Loss, books, music...and a foot fetish
It's going to be a scorcher this weekend and I'm so looking forward to going to a girlfriend's bbq Sunday afternoon. Not only is she a great cook and should be on something like Come Dine With Me (yup, another guilty pleasure) but she's also a complete laugh and you just feel happy around her.
It's been crazy, though, getting back from our holiday - and then having a conference - plus a pile of work lurking in my office (eek. don't want to look at it) - so I'm finally going to wade through the pile of washing that's in a heap by machine and unpack tomorrow - after a much needed lie in!
Today I've got time to mention one of the books I read on holiday (apart from work-related reading that is!) - take a look at The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. I found it taut and suspenseful if you can ignore the rather brutal detail of the killings in it. Definitely wouldn't have read it last thing at night but on the beach it kept me awake/stopped me snoozing too much! Can’t wait to see the film.
If you've experienced a loss you might understand this next thought. Yesterday was the anniversary of my father having passed away and I didn't want to mention it yesterday as I was quite choked up at times - because I still miss him so much even after 11 years - it's unbelievable how crystal clear the memories of him as the father are. On such "anniversaries" my three brothers and I and the rest of the family of exchange memories in group e-mails. It's so lovely being reminded of everyone else's special memories of him. My father was a very kind, gentle and patient man and the only problem was that he was old enough to be my grandfather - having had me as their last child, late in life. I suppose in a bizarre way I felt cheated when we lost him as so many of my girlfriends still have their fathers.
TODAY’S THOUGHT: you might think it's kind of a strange feeling that I feel ‘cheated’ in that way, but I'm sure some will understand. We have such unique reactions to grief - and then learning to live with our loss over the years - that I find people, when telling me their individual stories, will have experienced a different spectrum of emotions - a different combination of feelings compared to others who've gone through the same loss. That is part of the unique thing of being human - on the outside it looks like were going through the same experience, say, losing our father. But on the inside we experience it so differently and it raises different emotions and memories in us.
On a VASTLY different note - I've posted the new "your e-mail of the week" from ‘Jenny’ - whose boyfriend is a foot fetishist. Hmmm… personally I think most feet are fairly ugly and not arousing!
Have a friend going to the Radio One Big Weekend in Bangor - so many phenomenal artists on stage it's unbelievable - what with the gorgeous sunshine – would’ve loved to have gone to see the amazing line-up including Lost Prophets, Biffy, Pendulum, Faithless, Example, Dizzy, Tinchy, Florence, Alicia, Rhianna, Cheryl, and a huge range of others!
Have an amazing weekend, let the sun lift your spirits, Pam X p.s. the good, the bad and the ugly coming soon about the Maldives x