Calling singles: Six signs you might be dating a narcissist...
My latest column for Wingman Dating app...
I recently date coached someone who was very conflicted about the new person in their life. On the one hand they were very attractive but on the other hand they seemed to have things “missing” from their personality.
After a long chat, it seemed to me that they were dating a narcissist. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is fairly common with estimates of about 4-5% of the population being quite narcissistic!
Dating a narcissist often ends unhappily, they are great at gas-lighting.
Here are six signs to watch for:
*They usually control the conversation and it’s pretty much all about them. They talk about their experiences, their needs, their petty annoyances. They might occasionally ask about you but it’s definitely not a 50-50, two-way street.
*They seem to get hurt feelings and angry very frequently. The smallest slight and they are offended - by you or others.
*They thrive on compliments and, beware, not just from you! They lap up the attention if you’re out and someone compliments them. They’ll probably start flirting with that person and when you call them out on it, they say you’re crazy and that it wasn’t flirting #GasLighting
*They definitely lack empathy and aren’t good at being supportive. If you’ve had a really bad day or something has happened to you, don’t expect much comfort!
*If they don’t feel they’re getting their “deserved” attention from you, watch out. They may start gas lighting you or being hypercritical of anything you do.
*It's nearly impossible to get an apology out of them if they have upset you or someone else. They never think they're wrong. And if they do inwardly know they are wrong, they still won't say so. I know because I have interviewed some narcissists and they hate admitting when they have got something wrong.
Keep your eyes open and set your boundaries. And if the person you’re seeing doesn’t change, you need to seriously think about your well-being if you keep giving them chances.
Good luck and happy dating, Pam x
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