Can you forgive a fling from your bride- or groom- to be?
Could you ever forgive a fling or indiscretion that occurs when your other half is on their respective Hen or Stag dos? I’m discussing this issue this morning on my ‘Love Doc’ slot at 7:50 AM with Angela and Spence on the Heart Northwest and Wales breakfast show.
Unfortunately I hear about this occurring more and more - to be honest I get annoyed that people think that to have fun they must have one last sexual adventure - but how would they feel if that’s how their fiance felt too? Would they want them to have that last fling on their hen or stag do? I doubt it.
Go into marriage with that attitude and your marriage probably won’t survive - because that attitude tells me you’ll be the type of person to make excuses for your bad behaviour.
Saying that, if the shoe's on the other foot and it’s your bride or groom-to-be who does the ‘dirty’ on you then you have to think very carefully about whether you want to go into the marriage or perhaps postpone it. And if you do decide to still get married you must explore why it happened, how this can be prevented, and how you can move on and strengthen your relationship.
TODAY’S TIP: The guilty party needs to well-and-truly get their act together and make it up on a daily basis with good behaviour.
You must both agree to move forward and sing from the same page - agreeing what you’ll do to protect your relationship, how you will prevent this in the future, etc.
Don’t sweep it under the carpet - these things have a way of growing bigger and making a bigger “carpet lump” as I call them. The bigger the carpet lump the bigger the fall when you trip on it and it comes back to haunt you in future because you didn’t deal with the issue.
And if you’re trying to move forward together, don’t raise the fling in every argument you have instead keep focused on whatever the present issue is - it’s so easy to make the fling your default ‘emotional’ (not physical!) slap in the face to pay back your partner.
If you’re headed on to your stag or hen and you know there’s going to be lots of alcohol tone it down and think before you leap into something your regret, Pamx