Money can't buy you happiness and love myths and rivals...
Hardly barbecue weather last night by the time our friends came over last night. But despite being cooked in the oven rather than barbecued the chicken was tasty - a good combination of ingredients that I mentioned yesterday.
In today's Express newspaper I have a piece about 'love myths' we buy into and aren't actually true. If you're single and looking for love then you should check it out because these love myths might hold you back from finding love.
Don't confuse money and security as money can't buy you happiness...but emotional security can! Seeing a piece in today's papers saying that people think they need 42K a year and a £500,000 house to be happy made me think that we're so wrong!
Unfortunately we've come to believe that we always need more money to make us happy. And those people who already earn 42K and have that size house wish for twice the earnings and twice as big a house. It's a never ending cycle where you can never get what you want!
In my research for my new book (How to be a Happy Human) I found that once people actually think about what makes them happy - they find it has little to do with money - it's far more about emotional security.
Yes of course people need a certain amount of money to give them security but in day-to-day life it's how they connect with others and finding what makes them genuinely happy that counts. Not counting up what they have in the bank! It's achieving emotional security that gives them true well-being and peace of mind.
Take a client, Miranda (a pseudonym) age 37, she left her long-term boyfriend when a richer man came along and made her an offer she couldn't refuse. But by six months down the line she found she desperately missed the man who had less financially but much more of an emotional connection to her. She deeply regretted her decision. I have heard many stories!
TODAY’S THOUGHT: I think we could all do with thinking about the implications of always wanting more as this links into my concept in my book of the 'Future-Dependent Happiness Trap' - where people believe that they'll be happier in the future when they have a better job and more money. They miss out on what's good in their lives in the present and hinge on their happiness at some future point. I wonder if you do this?
How about when you come face-to-face with your love rival! I saw a report in the paper today about
the Channel 4 racing presenter Emma Spencer nearly coming face-to-face with her love rival the jockey Hayley Turner. Emma managed to avert that face-to-face meeting but most people aren't so lucky and have to come to terms with meeting their love rival. Oh god, I've been there in my past - you want the ground to open up and swallow you! if you've run into a love rival let me know on "your e-mail of the week" and I might share my story with you, if you share yours with me!
You know I normally tell you about the music I like – but today it's about the music I hate - and I'm so surprised that X Factor finalist from a couple years ago, Diana Vicar's new single is number one! There's something about her voice that I find creepy.
It's Monday, find some fun in your day, Pam X