Man-eaters, wasting your time when someone's not interested...
In today's Express newspaper I've commented on Man-eaters - for some reason women that go for the men they want get branded with this negative nickname whereas men who are ‘players’ still get applauded - sexism pure and simple!
Cripes, Thursday's shot around - it means posting a new "your e-mail of the week" - and that also means Christmas is just around the corner.
The e-mail is from Susan - she's wondering whether to waste any more time on a particular man... I don't think so. I'm putting Susan's below as having probs getting my 'email area' to upload!
Otherwise select the gold star on my homepage if you want to get in touch or see all the e-mails I've answered - one a week.
TODAY’S TIP: Back to man eaters - are you one? It's easy to get an unfair reputation. You need to have real confidence to play the field, do what you want when you want, and make sure you're in control.
All those things are fantastic as long as you really are in control! If inside you’re an anxious wreck careering from relationship to relationship - that's not being a man eater.
Look after yourself, build your confidence, and make choices that suit you and that you can be honest about the guys you meet. It's just as bad for women to take advantage of a man as it is vice versa.
The battle of the sexes goes on, take care, Pam x
Hi Pam, please help me make a decision as I’ve been seeing a guy on and off for over two years. It's never for long periods as he travels a lot for work. He says he can’t be in a relationship right now for these reasons and also he says he's not over his ex fully and does not want to mess me around.
But we keep bumping into each other and recently went for a glass of wine. We get on really well, have great chemistry between us and I think he really likes me. The big question is should I continue seeing him as maybe a friend or cut him off. Part of me fantasises that if I keep trying it will work and I feel something could happen in future? Susan, 32 xx
Hi Susan, okay, I've often talked about people not listening to their intuition. Well I hate to say it but the other side of the coin to this is looking at the hard facts.
I think you're hoping something might happen but not looking at the hard facts staring you in the face - and I want to be brutally honest because I don't want you to waste more time with him. Ask yourself how much more honest can this man be? He says that he's simply not ready for a relationship and so he's shown integrity and isn't much mucking you about.
And his honesty means the ball is squarely in your court. So your options are whether you hang around and wait for him - maybe for another couple years - or whether you get out there and enjoy life as a single woman free to date whomever you please.
This doesn't mean that if you feel like it and cross his path again, you can't have a friendly coffee with him - of course you can but just don't waste your time pining for this man.
I'd hate to see a great woman sitting around for someone who's clearly not ready for a relationship. Look after yourself and have a wonderful Christmas, Pam x