Sloppy seconds, smacking, and those celebrities in the house...
Thinking of giving your ex another whirl? The release of the new Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin middle-aged rom-com, It's Complicated, this Friday reminds me of my own attempt to get back with my ex, as well as the experiences of numerous clients and friends. Second time around? I know it's complicated!
It didn't work out with my first husband - and going back for ‘seconds’ was a very bad idea - I'll say no more. But often we think that our ex is ‘the devil-we-know’ - so we'll be able to work things out - but that doesn't necessarily mean you can conquer the demons that drove you apart in the first place.
Something like 80% of people talk about breaking up - and then give it a bit of a go - and a full 30% of people give their relationship a proper second chance, as I did. See my article on second time around, in the relationship section, if you're thinking of giving it another shot.
Did you watch the entry into the Celebrity Big Brother House last night? Well you probably would’ve noticed the biggest reaction was when tall, handsome Basshunter (he of Euro-pop, clubbing music - a bit of a guilty pleasure) arrived in a dinner suit. All the girls’ eyes were on him - from Stephanie Beacham to Heidi Fleiss, as well as that topless model and Ronnie Woods ex-poppet. Couldn't blame them - love a man in a dinner suit myself!
Smacking is back in the press and please don't take the headlines at face value. They’re referring to fairly complicated results from research into smacking. Essentially: some children do better at school when they've been smacked before the age of six. But after that, the legacy of smacking goes downhill - with negative consequences in future for the child who's been smacked at an older age.
I'd argue that some extremely careful and sensitive parents might smack young children occasionally, with successful results. But many parents go too far - smacking, screaming and yelling at kids - and that's why we need to curb such negative enthusiasm with anti-smacking laws. 71% of the population agree with me as found by recent survey - smacking should be banned.
I'll own up that when my children were young I smacked them on the bottom, probably a few times each, and regretted it each time. It was never going to be the right solution to whatever the issue was. It was probably more about me being tired out.
Unfortunately where some parents are, without doubt loving (as I am), an occasional smack given ‘appropriately’, might sort out a particular situation. But I don't trust many tired and stressed parents not to go over the top. That's why none of us should be allowed to. I've made plenty of mistakes as a parent and the occasional smack when my children were very young was one of them.
TODAY’S THOUGHT: if your child is driving you to distraction, rather than smack them (think about it, would you smack a colleague who was driving you nuts?) sit down, calm down, and then remember they are only a little child. Think how terrifying it must be to have a big, huge adult reach out and smack you.
Today is a busy day getting ready for some radio interviews on Wednesday as well as various meetings. Oh no, we're back in the swing of things and I could’ve done with another week off!
Love, Pam X