Dump your romantic checklist, he's cheated and fathered a child...
Crickey -up at dawn tomorrow to go on Daybreak tomorrow at 6:40 AM! But it'll be fun and glad to go on as I couldn't do This Morning when they rang the other day. We're chatting about a relationship issue.
I mentioned the brilliant Adele has a romantic checklist - we know from her latest tunes how hard her love life has been - and now she's looking for love.
So in today's Sun newspaper I've written about what you should - and shouldn't - include on your own romantic checklist. Take a look if you're looking for love.
We get hung up on what I call the ‘packaging’ rather than the ‘contents’ - both men and women are guilty of this. They look at the outer package and if it suits their checklist - FOR HER it might be he must be 6 foot, brunette, and not too skinny - FOR HIM it might be she has to blonde, petite, and athletic, etc.
What really counts over the long run? The contents - not that outer wrapper stuff!
TODAY’S TIP: if you've been single - and looking for love - for over a year then I'd recommend you "think in ink" and write down what you've been looking for.
Also write down the people you've turned down. Then take a good look at your notes - I'd bet a checklist emerges and it might be unrealistic.
The clued-up single realises love isn't as straightforward as the wrapping paper and ribbon of the outer package - all that stuff can be misleading.
Dump your checklist - except for the things I recommend in my Sun article - and I hope you find love soon. Happy searching!
Last night my weekly blog went live on iVillage.co.UK and this week it was a super big dilemma... A woman's husband had a one night stand and now the other woman is pregnant... I'm hoping you're not in this situation because it's traumatic. But if you are check out my blog for advice.
One point that came up in her e-mail to me was that he put it down to being drunk - and making a stupid choice - well, if he was that drunk he wouldn't be able to ‘get it up’ now, would he?
Too much alcohol should never be an excuse for infidelity. In fact if someone’s so drunk they make a really bad choice than they ought to check out whether they've got a drinking problem. If they do they should get help and sort it out.
MORE TIPS: if you're worried about your or your partner's alcohol intake then keep a drink diary for a week. Be completely honest - there's no reason why you should lie to yourself - although that's one of the first signs of a serious drink problem.
Check out the peaks and troughs - do you binge at weekends - a classic binge pattern. Or do you drink consistently too much every evening? Whatever you find take note of how this relates to government guidelines of no more than 14 units a week for women and 21 units for men. Bear in mind that when it comes to wine one unit is a small glass!
Once you've kept your diary - and know where to trouble spots are - put some practical measures in place like always alternating alcoholic drinks with nonalcoholic ones, enlisting your partner or a friend to help you keep count, and having regular nights off.
Alcohol is at the root of so many relationship problems - like this dilemma over the husband sleeping with someone else - so do get on top of it and if necessary go to an organisation like AA for support or speak to your GP for advice.
I wish you the very best of luck, you can do it!
Take care of yourself, Pam x p.s. tomorrow's Thursday so get your e-mails in as I'll choose a new "your e-mail of the week” to post tomorrow.