So you think you weren't good enough?
Have you ever started a relationship with someone - it seemed to go well and you wanted it to work but it fizzled out - and then he or she starts a proper relationship with someone new?
It's so easy to get paranoid, think of all your faults and why they preferred the new person - and so you start to think you weren’t good enough - that's what I discuss on my weekly iVillage.co.uk blog today. I really feel for the woman who e-mailed me - if this is you, then take a look.
TODAY’S THOUGHT: Isn’t it the case that we often blame ourselves for something beyond our control? Because someone doesn't want a relationship with us, we think we're not good enough. Because we don't get that promotion, we think we're obviously not up to the job.
If you're bogged down in this way of thinking then I'd advise you to step out of your shoes and take a look from an outsider's point of view. Is it really about you? Or was the timing wrong, the position not right, the person that had influence over you had their own issues, etc?
Yup, we should all take responsibility for when we're the cause of whatever's happened to us - but sometimes these things are out of our control and that's when you need to stop beating yourself up and move on.
Go, Mike Stock (of the legendary pop music producing partnership of Stock, Aitken and Waterman) - lovin' your campaign against the sexualisation of our youth! I might write sex guides for ADULTS but I hate the sexualisation of children and young teens in our society.
Ah, those men and their midlife crises - wonder if you saw the report yesterday about how many buy motorcycles and generally make fools of themselves.
But it's not just the men who go through midlife crises - and I've met plenty of women who have had them. Many have done weird and wonderful things to tackle their classic midlife 'window of crisis'. Sometimes this begins as early as the late 30s, but usually striking in the 40s.
You can bet your booty that a woman's starting a midlife crisis when her skirts get shorter or she does something truly rash like taking a lover when she's got a perfectly nice man at home.
Be daring, brave and courageous with your life but think before you do something rash if you fit this age group.
Take care, Pam X